


dreamspace

by nasasingular



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Fluff, How do tags even work, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, M/M, Seo Changbin Being an Asshole, Slow Burn, also chan's last name is different for the sake of the plot, also this plot is so weird idek, but it isn't really focused on the romance anyways, but pls stream it took me so long to write, idk about future ships yet, sorry kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21810715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nasasingular/pseuds/nasasingular
Summary: Minho found himself in a great white room with no recollection on how and why he's there. The great white room consists of 8 chairs and one by one, those chairs got filled. Each one of them has their own story, each one of them has their own fear to conquer and a dream they want to come true.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 19
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever & it's probably gonna be a confusing mess so i'm sorry in advance. i didn't proof read this, so i'm sorry for any mistakes. also chan's last name is different for the sake of the plot, sorry if it's weird.

I found myself in the middle of a great white room. No windows, no ceiling, no doors. I took a step and then another, not knowing where I was, or why. I could not remember entering the place, or dropping in: it was as if I had just _appeared_. Everything felt eerie, from the complete silence to the seeming absence of walls.

I was wearing my favorite denim jeans, white oversized tee and my white sneakers, my usual casual attire, but I couldn’t recall putting them on. My hair fell over my forehead, unstyled, the way I like to wear it when I have no one to see and nothing to do. My skin felt soft and warm, the way it does after a pleasant day in the sun, the air was cool and light.

Everything felt fresh and comfortable, as if I had just awoken from a very relaxing sleep. Was I actually awake? In the middle of the room I found eight chairs lined in a row. They were all in different sizes and shapes, from modern and classic, to eccentric and ornate; they were also labeled.

I walked beside them to get a closer look and found that one near the middle had my name on it. It was rustic wood, the design simple and at the same time organic. It was worn down and aged, like a very loved object that has been passed from generation to generation.

I looked again at the row before me and thought that, if I had been given the chance, it was exactly the one I would have chosen. The names on the other chairs I did not recognize: Seungmin, Jisung, Hyunjin, Chan, Felix, Changbin and Jeongin. Perhaps I wouldn’t be alone for long.

I walked around again, and had the odd feeling that the place was moving along with me. Every time I tried to get to the other side, the way became longer; if I retraced my steps, I returned to the same spot. Was I in some sort of institution?

I felt completely sane, even though everything around me seemed daft. I wanted a mirror so I could see my face. I needed that sense of self. Then I saw him. I hadn’t noticed him arrive. He hadn’t seen me either since he was standing with his back to me.

He was roughly my age, with blonde curls that looked so effortless, but were styled perfectly. He was slender and fit. His head was level and he stood tall, giving me the impression of being self-assured and comfortable in his own skin. He was looking toward the other side of the room, getting accustomed to our new surroundings. I sensed he was as confused as I was.

“Do you know where we are?” I asked, and he turned surprised at the sound of my voice. It was then I got the first glimpse of his beautiful brown eyes. There was such an intensity in his stare, conveying so much emotion, I could hardly hold his gaze. I felt electricity run through my spine as I dove into this stranger who was inviting me in. He kept looking at me without answering, making my insides aflutter.

This had never happened to me before. So I stood there, frozen solid, averting my eyes from his, but coming back to them. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half. Scientists state that it takes only eight and a half seconds to fall in love at first sight. So there it was. I started to get flustered and felt like a little girl, how could this be? It was just a stare from a man standing on the other side of the room, but I felt drawn to him like gravity pulling me to a sun I knew could burn me.

Why did this feel so familiar? Had I seen him before? After a minute that felt like a lifetime he started to walk toward me, his eyes still fixed on mine. So I grabbed a hold of myself. Stoic mode, on.

“Who are you?” he asked taking another step. Now it was I who couldn’t find the words, so he said, “I’m Chan.”

Chan, his name was Chan. He held out his hand and I gave him mine, which he took between both of his as if he were holding something dear. It felt so right, but I didn’t want it to. These eyes kept smiling at me, and searching me at the same time.

I was struggling with the words to introduce myself when another voice came from behind us. We turned around to see a tall, scrawny guy wearing a polo shirt with vertical stripes that made him look even taller than he was and whose white socks were so small they almost disappeared inside his tennis shoes.

He wore shorts that were a size too small, starting at the bottom of his belly. When he walked his legs were slightly apart and he moved his arms a lot, reminding me of the way little kids walk when they’re happy.

I seized this opportunity to get my hand back from Chan’s grip and walked over to our new companion, glad to have something to focus on rather than the gorgeous man that terrified me to my core.

“Hi, I’m Minho,” I said, feeling safer talking to this guy than to Chan who’s eyes asked a million questions that I did not want to answer.

Chan came over with a smile and introduced himself as well, never letting me out of his sight. I didn’t want him looking at me; guys like that could mean nothing but trouble.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you both,” the newcomer said, scratching his head and looking around. “My name is Hyunjin.”

He had a big smile with dimples, and he behaved as if he knew both Chan and I from forever. He was the type of person who could melt a polar ice cap with a warm word, and the sort of friend that stays with you for life.

I liked him instantly.

Chan and Hyunjin started to exchange views on this bizarre situation while I took another look around. I found both of their chairs in the line. Chan’s was black and modern, with an architectural design, Hyunjin’s was a big red chair, with a wide seat. I looked back at them talking away and found that their chairs were a reflection of their personalities, the first was refined but understated, the latter, bright and happy.

“I don’t even remember getting out of bed,” Hyunjin said. “I can’t recall anything before being here with you two, is that weird?”

“No, it’s not,” I interrupted as Chan again centered all of his attention on me, so I turned to Hyunjin to finish my sentence. “Well, it is, but it’s the same feeling I had before I met Chan.”

“Before you startled me, you mean?”

“Did I?” I said, smiling at him for the first time but regretting it a moment after, his eyes shone so intently that I knew I was blushing, and he was totally getting that.

Chan was about to answer but Hyunjin spoke instead.

“Are we dreaming?” he wondered out loud, and even though none of us answered, I knew we were thinking the same thing.

This was so unreal it would seem like an illusion, but it felt too genuine. In dreams, characters mix and pictures come and go, like a broken mirror where every piece gives a different image, but it all makes sense to the dreamer who believes everything that is happening, however strange or extraordinary. We run, we fly, we come across characters unknown that turn into people we love, and we don’t find it strange.

This, this was different.

I was searching for the smart thing to say when we were joined by another new face, a guy, with black hair, pale skin and big eyes that came in from behind Hyunjin.

“Hey, are you responsible for this?” He demanded, not speaking specifically to anyone, but accusing all of us at the same time.

“Excuse me?” Hyunjin asked, rather taken aback by this bossy individual with a big pout and an even bigger attitude.

“Is this a joke? Cause I don’t get it. Did my dad put you up to this? Am I being punished? This time it wasn’t me, I swear, whatever this is, I am not involved.” He was standing with his arms crossed and brows raised, all of his persona expecting an explanation.

Hyunjin, Chan and I just stood there looking at him, not knowing what to say. The guy started to look around inside his bag muttering words under his breath while we waited for him to acknowledge us again. He was wearing a black Louis Vuitton sweater with chains, black pants and shiny, black shoes. Everything about him looked expensive. He got so exasperated with his bag that I pitied the human beings who had to endure the same treatment as that poor inanimate object.

“Is there something wrong with you?” inquired another voice from behind her that belonged to a tall, thin, scrawny-looking guy with overgrown blonde hair. A gray, worn-out, rock T-shirt, torn skinny jeans, and old Converse tennis shoes rounded off his peculiar look. He didn’t walk, but rather strutted. He also moved around a lot, like he couldn’t stand still even for a moment. The black-haired guy turned to him, making a disgusted face.

“Are you looking for your cell phone?” The new guy asked, crossing his arms in front of the other guy. “Because they’re not allowed.”

“How? I mean, do you know where we are?” I asked, stepping up to him as he started to pace around us. He seemed so sure of himself, maybe he did know where we were.

The guy stopped and checked me out from head to toe before answering. “No. Not a clue.”

I didn’t like this new guy at all, since he didn’t even bother to hide the fact that he was looking at my chest, even though there wasn’t much there to see. He repulsed me and intrigued me at the same time. I also noticed Chan giving him a mean look, he didn’t look happy about the way he was talking to us, or well, me.

I turned my attention to the black-haired guy who dropped his bag. It blended into the floor, something none of the others seemed to notice, not even the owner. I walked to where the bag had been, but there was no trace of anything on the surface. It was white and intact. Baffled, I turned to see the black-haired guy walk up to the blonde-haired guy, pointing a finger right at his face.

“How did you know I was looking for my cell?” He asked, suddenly stepping back and letting his guard down, his eyes wide open.

“Have I been kidnapped?”

“Kidnapped?” we asked in unison, not intentionally.

“I have been, haven’t I?” He sat down in one of the chairs that had suddenly come closer to him. “I don’t have anything, I swear, search me.”

He spread his arms, his eyes closed. The chair that had approached him was a sleek, iron armchair that had a leather seat and arms that ended in the shape of a serpent. The name Changbin was written in the back.

“Who would want to kidnap you?” asked the blonde-haired guy, irritated.

Changbin dropped his arms and observed us steadily. He narrowed his eyes at the blonde-haired guy and frowned, he also did not bother to conceal the fact that he was eyeing Chan and examining me. Hyunjin he didn’t even bother to look at.

“Then how did you know about...? Who are you people?” He asked, returning to his proud tone.

No one answered, but I went up to the blonde-haired guy who had walked farther away.

“How _did_ you know about the cell phone?” I asked standing behind him while he explored the nonexistent walls.

“That’s so intense,” he said more to himself as his hand disappeared through a kind of mist that surrounded the whole place, totally ignoring me.

The others walked over, curious to see what he had to say. Even Changbin got out of his chair and followed Chan, grabbing him by the shoulders seeking protection of some kind.

He politely took his hands and let go of his grip while he approached us.

“Hey, you!” he exclaimed, so I stepped aside to let him through. “When someone asks you something, you answer.” I had not expected him to defend me. He didn’t turn my way, but it was clear I was the someone he was talking about.

The new guy turned slowly around to face Chan who was standing right behind him and looked him straight in the eye before answering.

“It says so right there,” he finally replied without taking his eyes away from Chan, pointing over my head to a very big sign that read _No cell phones allowed_ in bright blinking neon lights. “Are you blind? Should I read it for you?”

That had not been there before, I could swear, and Changbin and Hyunjin seemed as surprised as I was. The blonde-haired newcomer was still holding Chan’s gaze trying to make him feel uncomfortable, but Chan did not look away.

“This has to be a joke, and I don’t like jokes,” Changbin said, breaking the tension.

“This is no joke, missy,” the blonde-haired guy said, breaking away from Chan and looking down at him since he was much taller than him. He dramatically walked, or rather strutted, a bit away from us before turning back. “I think you’re in my dreams. Though I don’t know why you’re here, since the guys in my dreams are usually hot.”

Changbin looked at him with utter repugnance.

“My name is not Missy,” he said after a long pause. “My name is Changbin, and judging by your clothes and lack of hygiene, I do not believe in your good taste, so therefore am not offended but otherwise quite relieved not to be type of guy you dream about.” He ended the sentence and smiled, believing that was a great comeback.

The blonde-haired guy raised his eyebrows and laughed out loud, a little forced in my opinion, but still believable.

“Ooooohh, so offensive,” he said in an excessively sarcastic tone. Changbin just pursed his lips and kept opening his mouth to say something then closing it again. I could see that he understood that there was no winning with this guy, so he just gave an exhausted sigh and turned the other way.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence while Changbin fumed and the blonde-haired guy gave his back to us. Hyunjin got so nervous that he started to sputter words under his breath, and Chan kept looking over at me making me even more nervous. So, to escape the tension I walked up to the blonde-haired guy who had centered his attention on the eight whimsical chairs.

“Do you really think we’re dreaming?” I asked, and he did not answer, again. “I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

The blonde-haired guy stopped in front of a black office chair with a cylinder base and five wheels. This one, however, did not look professional at all; it was worn and torn, with urban art all over the back. The name written on it was Jisung.

“Han Jisung, at your service,” he answered in a mock bow. “Not your service though,” he said to Changbin who just rolled his eyes and turned away. “Why is my name on this awesome chair?”

He sat down and wheeled around in it.

Chan approached him and introduced himself, as did Hyunjin, while Changbin stood in the background looking for his bag, the one he had totally forgotten about a moment ago. Since he didn’t have any excuse to be away from the group he reluctantly joined us and sputtered out his name. Then Chan introduced me too; cute, _and_ chivalrous. Oh, God.

“We don’t know anything about the chairs,” Chan said while Jisung enjoyed spinning around in his. “There are eight here, and we’re only five, so I believe that three other people will be joining us. Thus far that is all we know.”

Jisung stopped spinning and turned to us.

“I told you, you’re in my dreams,” he said, jumping from his chair and putting it back in its place. “Though this is one of the weirdest yet, and let me tell you that I have occasional nightmares that would make missy here wet his undies.” He was referring to Changbin, who pretended not to hear him while he approached Hyunjin from behind.

Hyunjin cried in pain as he jumped away from him and rubbed his arm. “He pinched me!” he shouted.

“I wanted to see if he was real,” He said in a calm tone. Hyunjin gave him a cold look and slowly walked away still rubbing his arm.

“With that kind of body mass you could barely tell,” Jisung said pointing at Hyunjin who blushed while Changbin laughed, but then tried to hide the fact that he had thought Jisung was amusing.

I did not find it comical at all and was about to say so, but we were interrupted by a new figure appearing from the left side of the room. He was short and thin with sandy brown hair parted to one side. He was donning a bow tie, button-down shirt, gray pants, and thick-rimmed glasses. He walked cautiously towards us, taking small steps, one at a time.

“Are you aliens?” he asked, eyeing us with inquisitive eyes that seemed even bigger than they were through his heavy glasses. “Is this an abduction?” We were taken aback for a moment, before Jisung laughed out loud.

“The only one who looks like an alien is you, little man,” he said, while the new guy stood away from Jisung and eyed him carefully.

He was the smallest in the room, especially next to Jisung who towered a head over him.

“I do not look like an alien,” he said firmly.

“I happen to be an expert on the subject, so I would know. I’m not sure about you, though. I’ve read they try to impersonate the most unsightly people, so you certainly fit the bill.”

I was definitely not expecting that response. I turned to Chan and he lifted his eyebrows in surprise. This new guy was nerdy but feisty.

Before anyone could respond another guy seemed to appear out of nowhere next to me. We didn’t know how long he had been standing there, for he hadn’t said a word.

Chan started making introductions, but when he asked him what his name was, he kept his head down.

“I’m Seungmin,” The nerdy guy said, stepping into the group, but no one turned to look at him, we were all waiting for the other guy to respond. After what seemed like an eternity, Jisung started to get anxious.

“Maybe he can’t hear us,” Jisung said as he walked up next to him and shouted. “Who are you?” to which he responded by covering his ears, wincing and moving farther away.

He had pink hair, straight and untidy. Almost looking like some kind of fairy. He was wearing black pants, hold and faded, with a white blouse that was a size too large for his tiny frame. He looked fragile and frightened.

“Of course he can hear us,” I said, grabbing him away from Jisung. “Leave him alone.”

“Felix,” said the new guy finally, more to me than the rest of the group, turning completely pink all the way to his ears. At first I didn’t understand, my arm still around him.

“Oh, your name is Felix, nice to meet you, Felix,” I said extending my hand, waiting for him to look at me, which he finally did, as he took my hand with a small smile. His eyes were big, and there was such fear in them that all I wanted was to squeeze his hand and tell him that we were not going to hurt him.

The others said their names but Felix only seemed to acknowledge me. Changbin even dropped his head trying to make eye contact, but Felix started fidgeting his hands and moved a step closer to me.

“I just think he’s weird,” Changbin said, raising his eyebrows. “But then again, everyone here is weird.”

“And I thought Jisung was rude,” Hyunjin said under his breath, but high enough for all of us to hear.

“You have a problem with me, skinny boy?” Changbin snapped. Hyunjin lowered his head and started to stutter some sort of apology that didn’t come out right.

I felt a surge of anger bubble inside me and was about to say so, but Chan beat me to it. “Would everybody please stop the name calling? We’re all scared and we all want to know why we’re here, but this isn’t helping.”

He had been quiet for a while, like he was examining everybody, especially me, and I was having a hard time acting as if I didn’t notice.

What I also observed was that the one who kept eyeing _him_ constantly was Changbin, but I felt Chan did not like him one bit, at least not that I could tell. But what did I care? Did I care? Again our eyes met and I felt a twist in my insides. His mere stare made me bubble up inside.

I broke my mental tension by turning back to the chairs. We were only missing one person now. Seven people and eight chairs. The first on the left was Seungmin’s, it was smaller than the rest, for obvious reasons, it looked like the sort of armchair you would find in a grandfather’s library.

Next to his was the modern serpent seat that belonged to Changbin, then Hyunjin’s red chair, Jisung’s strange office roll around, Chan’s black statement design, my beautiful tree root creation, Felix’s, a white weaved wicker, homey and comfortable one, and finally a white plastic chair, the owner of the seat still missing. The others acknowledged that I had come over to the line, so they left Seungmin talking alone about conspiracy theories and went to their places.

I took my seat between Chan and Felix.

He looked over and made a compliment about my chair, and all I could mutter was a quick “Thanks.”

I wanted to say something interesting about his, but brain mush got in the way. I was trying to get myself together when the atmosphere subtly started to change. At first no one took notice but then the ambience turned dark and solemn. Deep orchestra music played.

At first I thought someone else would be joining the group, but no one arrived, and the music kept getting louder and dramatic. Chan was showing a brave face, and I was glad to have him beside me. Felix covered his ears and even Jisung seemed unsettled. Chan got up from his chair when smoke started pouring down, and before long we were all huddled in a circle looking up at the source of the music.

When a heavy mist started to seep up from the floor and a voice surrounded us, Changbin screamed, Hyunjin gasped, and Seungmin got to his knees and started to pray. Felix shut his eyes. They all seemed to be taking refuge behind Chan and me, and without realizing I was holding hard onto Chan’s arm but let go the moment he turned to me, so I stood straight, Changbin tugging on my shirt like he was holding on to dear life.

There was a sudden silence while a long flight of stairs came down from the sky, almost hitting us before we could get out of the way. The only sound was that of our own breathing.

The music returned in a crescendo and down the stairs came the figure of a man dressed in a shiny silver suit with a silver top hat, big silver eyeglasses, and a long silver cane in his right hand. Five girls, dressed in pink mini dresses and high heeled silver boots came down with him, dancing around in a peculiar way, while he kept his gaze fixed on the horizon.

The song ended and the only light in the room landed on the silver-suited man who was still looking at some indefinite spot in the distance, his arms in the air. The girls in pink stood frozen in poses that seemed extremely uncomfortable.

“Someone do something,” Changbin whispered. Jisung started to shove Chan to the front, so he had no choice but to walk toward the stairs and the strange man. He looked back and we signaled him to keep going, all the while my heart was in my throat. Chan got closer and I couldn’t make out if the man was watching him or not.

“Well?” The man said finally, surprising Chan who stood frozen in his wake. “I’m waiting.”

Waiting? That was the question in all our eyes, since we dared not speak. After seconds of hesitation the man cleared his throat but we still did not understand what was expected of us. Again Hyunjin started muttering things under his breath while Jisung twitched his hands nervously, and all I wanted was to tell Chan to come back to the group.

“Excuse me,” Chan said politely. “You’re waiting...?”

“For my applause, of course,” The strange man answered. “I thought that was a very impressive entrance.”

Hyunjin started to clap undecidedly, and the man smiled, still not turning to look at him. One by one we joined in the applause, the girls in pink included, until the man signaled us to stop.

“Tsk, tsk,” The strange man said to his dancing companions, ushering them away.

The girls all got up, walked off and simply faded into the mist. He came down the stairs, which melted into the floor, while he walked to a black podium that turned up at one end of the room along with a microphone.

We were just standing there in amazement when the strange man ordered us to go sit down. I looked behind me and saw that my chair was exactly behind me, so I took a seat. Everyone else sat in the same order that had been lined up when we arrived.

The man in silver seemed to be looking through some papers while we sat glued to our seats. He cleared his throat and checked if the microphone was working.

“Seo Chanbin,” he called, and Changbin stood up from his chair but said nothing.

“Seo Changbin?” he called again, annoyed.

“Here?” He answered, unsure if that was the right response.

The man turned to look at him, “Present, you are present.”

“Present,” He replied and sat down again.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but stayed quiet.

“Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Here, I mean, present,” he answered as he stood up. “You can call me Jinnie,” he added, sitting down again.

“More like Skinny,” Jisung cried, waiting for us to share his joke but this time no one laughed.

The man in the silver suit looked up from his pages, gave a high-pitched fake laugh and then said sternly to him, “You’re not amusing.”

Jisung kept quiet and scowled while I smiled to myself, as did Chan. He was so close to me that I couldn’t avoid noticing everything about him, from the way he shook his hair when he got nervous to the sharp jaw. He had a way of looking straight into your eyes when he spoke to you, as if you were the only person in the room.

He was slightly muscular, guy definitely spent his time in the gym. He had full, luscious lips, a straight nose and the most beautiful dark eyes with a hint of gold in them. He also had a grave voice, and he spoke calmly and slow, as if he thought whatever he was going to say completely through before speaking. He made me feel special. Without a word he had this way of projecting honesty and integrity.

I’m naturally curious and wanted to know everything about him, but this man shook my foundations. _No prying,_ I told myself.

“Lee Felix,” The man in the silver suit continued, but he didn’t answer.

“Lee Felix?” He asked again impatiently as we watched Felix turn completely red while he fiddled with his shirt.

“Is there anyone named Lee Felix in this room?” He shouted at the top of his lungs, scaring all of us. Jisung couldn’t stand the pressure and seemed like he was about to answer for him, but then he finally spoke.

“Present,” He said in a low voice, struggling to say the one word. Everyone let out a deep breath as the silver-suited man rolled his eyes and went back to his list.

“Lee Minho?”

“Present,” I answered, feeling unsettled at hearing my name being called.

“Han Jisung?”

“Er, present.”

“Kim Seungmin?”

“Present, sir,” he replied and held up his hand. The man seemed not to notice.

“Chan Dreamer.”

Chan turned to the man with such an expression that he surprised me as well. He had been unnerved by this person calling him that. I could feel his hesitation, and it made me so very much interested. Damn it.

“It’s Chan D. Reamur, sir, present,” he answered after a moment, stone-faced.

The man turned to look at him as if he wanted to say something, but simply laid down the papers he was reading. The podium vanished as if it had never been there when the man finished his task. He started to leave, and we all got up from our chairs, following him.

“Where are you going?” Changbin shouted, running behind him. “You can’t leave.”

“Can’t I?” He answered, blending into the mist.

“Wait. Please. Who are you?” I shouted, my voice echoing in the distance. “Where are we?”

The man popped his head back into the room, looking quite peculiar without a body to support him. “You’re in a Great White Room,” he said matter-of-factly and disappeared again.

“Yes, but _where_ are we?” I asked again, getting desperate. He was the only one who could at least tell us something. “Please...”

He returned slowly, one limb after the other. “You will learn in time.”

“Could you tell us your name?” Chan asked, coming up beside me. His hand brushed my arm and I turned to find him right next to me, again making me slightly skittish.

“Oh, how rude of me,” The strange man said while taking off his bright hat in a long bow, “I am The Guardian of this space of dreams.”

“Dreams? I told you I was dreaming,” Jisung cried, pushing Hyunjin from behind.

“You can all disappear now.” Jisung went on to touch everyone on the head. “Go away, go away, go away. Especially you, go away,” he said, slapping Changbin on the back of the head, to which he replied by hitting him back.

“I did not say you were dreaming. I said you were in a place of dreams,” The Guardian said, and Jisung stopped his annoying chant.

“Place of dreams?” Changbin asked, irritated.

“Did I say place?” he said, slapping his face. “Oh, silly me.”

“Is it the space or the place?” Chan asked.

“Does it make a difference?” The Guardian answered. “Isn’t it obvious? You’re here to make your dreams come true.” He had put his hat back on and sat on a throne that rose behind him.

Dreams coming true? Could it be? I watched the reaction in all the faces, from Seungmin’s reservations to Hyunjin’s excitement. Me? I didn’t know what to think.

“So then, I can wish to be rich and famous and it will come true?” Jisung asked, beaming.

He looked proudly around at us and grinned, but The Guardian did not seem impressed.

“No, Rockhead, that is not the kind of dream you are here to fulfill,” he said, mocking Jisung’s snotty grin, which faded immediately.

“Then, how?” I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. Life is not made of dreams, and you don’t always get what you wish for. At least not me.

“You will see, in time,” The Guardian repeated, getting up from the throne. “Now I must go. Just follow the rules and nobody will get hurt.”

The throne stayed in its place and Jisung approached it to sit down, but an electric shock made him change his mind. The strange throne then followed The Guardian as he made his way across the room.

“Hurt?” Changbin asked, worried. “What do you mean, hurt?”

“Well, there was one report that we lost a dreamer on the way here, but that was an exaggeration,” he replied stopping to look back, the throne stopping behind him.

“An exaggeration?” I exclaimed, outraged. I was starting to doubt everything that had come out of this man’s mouth. But that does explain the last empty chair, that was still yet to be filled.

“It was only a leg, well, two legs. But don’t worry about that, you just be good and everything will be fine.” He then walked straight out of sight but turned back and said, “Oh, and you can’t get out, so I hope you like each other.” The throne also looked back one last time, before disappearing into the mysterious mist.

“What if we don’t?” Jisung shouted, but no one answered him.

Chan ran over to where The Guardian had vanished and shouted, “You said something about rules?”

“Oh, dear,” replied the voice of The Guardian even though we couldn’t see him anymore. “Did I forget the manual again? My bad.” And with that his voice faded away and we were again alone.

Seungmin walked toward Chan and looked out to where The Guardian had exited. He touched the mist, took several steps back and then ran as fast as he could, trying to get out. He disappeared for a moment and we all thought he had made it, but he was thrown back into the room with so much force that Jisung had to duck to avoid being hit. This left Changbin in line to be run over by a tumbling Seungmin. He was quite embarrassed and apologized over and over, but Changbin did not respond, he just rubbed the arm he had knocked into.

“So I guess nobody else will be wanting to get out,” Changbin said standing next to Felix while he watched him rubbing his arm in silence. “You don’t talk much, do you?” He asked, but got no response.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! tysm for reading the first chapter. it means a lot :) hope you like this one too! issa wild one lol

Chan walked back to the group and we all looked at each other not knowing what to say. I sat down as did Chan and Felix, the rest were looking around, trying to find something, anything. We were stuck here, no way of getting out of each other’s faces. The anticipation was grueling.

Then there was the penetrating gaze of my gorgeous neighbor who I desperately tried to avoid. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, I didn’t trust anyone anymore. Since he sat right next to me he was kind of hard to ignore, and I was beginning to think I was imagining that he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. _Was_ I imagining?

Everything was quiet, too quiet.

“Wake up, it’s time to wake up!” Jisung shouted pinching himself in the arm while he walked from one end of the room to the other. Changbin, who was also pacing around, shouted at him to be quiet, but Jisung made no notice of him.

“You better shut up if you know what’s good for you,” he commanded. Jisung went silent for a moment while he walked up to Changbin, then yelled right in his ear as hard as he could.

“What are you gonna do about that, huh?” he asked, while Changbin stared at him in disgust.

He raised his eyebrows and looked for words while Jisung stood in front of him, arms crossed.

“You can’t do anything because we’re all alone and no one is coming to help you.”

Changbin lowered his brows, defeated. “Please be quiet. You’re getting on my nerves,” he said in a softer tone.

Jisung opened his mouth to continue shouting, but decided to sit down instead and wheel around in his chair, circling around Changbin who was doing his best to ignore him.

We hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since we arrived, and I was really parched.

“I’m kind of thirsty,” I said out loud, to no one in particular. “Does anybody see something to drink?”

I hadn’t even finished my sentence when a small table with a glass of water appeared in front of me. It had definitely not been there before. Chan signaled for me to go ahead while I hesitated, and even Felix was intrigued. So I took a sip. It was the most refreshing drink I’ve had in a long time, it was brisk as if came from a natural spring, with a subtle hint of citrus. When I was done, the small table faded along with the glass. They all stared at me waiting for something to change but I just smiled.

“Well?” Jisung asked, “What did it taste like?”

“Like water,” I answered. _Like my childhood,_ I thought.

“Cool,” Hyunjin said, and I could see something light up inside him. He closed his eyes. “I would really like a banana sundae,” he said and then opened his eyes, waiting for something to appear, but nothing happened.

He closed his eyes again, harder this time, and repeated his request in a whisper.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Skinny,” Jisung said, wheeling over to him, pushing him out of his chair and onto the floor. Hyunjin got up and sat down again, kicking away Jisung’s chair. Jisung quickly got up as did Hyunjin and they were about to start fighting when Chan interrupted them.

“Jisung’s right,” he said, surprising everyone, even Jisung. “Maybe this place only gives you what you really need.”

Jisung beamed, probably feeling pretty smart.

“And don’t call him Skinny.”

Jisung wiped the grin off his face, said “ _Sir, yes sir,”_ under his breath, but otherwise kept quiet.

What Chan said made total sense — the chairs, the water, Changbin’s vanishing bag, what we were wearing — everything was just right. No more, no less. We were our honest, true version of ourselves, inside and out.

My thoughts were interrupted by the deafening shrill of sirens coming from overhead, so we all turned to see a new sign illuminating the space on top of our heads.

“ _The only thing in this place that’s true: You_ _will not return to the life you knew,_ ” Chan read and Changbin let out a small cry.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jisung asked, hands in a nervous twitch again.

Seungmin started to raise his hand, but Jisung pushed his arm down. “Don’t start with the alien nonsense.”

Seungmin kept quiet and pouted while the others gave their opinions about the strange sign that lay over us like a threat.

“Maybe it’s a metaphor,” Chan said, being the first to offer some explanation.

“A _meta_ what?” Jisung said, mocking Chan.

“Where do you get this stuff?”

Chan turned to me with a small smile. I understood immediately that he wasn’t going to argue with Jisung. I considered explaining to him what a metaphor was, but I would only be wasting my time. Chan kept quiet, but I could tell he was still trying to figure out what the words meant.

“Maybe it’s a riddle,” Hyunjin said, enthusiastic.

“Uh, I hate riddles,” Changbin said, killing Hyunjin’s interpretation. His smile died too, and Changbin didn’t even notice how rude he had been.

Felix, as usual, kept his fears and doubts to himself.

As for me, I didn’t really know what it meant. What I did know was that all the speculation would lead us nowhere. So I let them discuss on. This gave me a moment to take a better look at my companions. Why was I paired with them?

Changbin was rich and spoiled, the rich part he had said himself, the spoiled came with the territory. Although I could see there was something more to him, a hint of a real personality beneath all that facade.

Hyunjin was lovely, but got hurt quite easily, I could see him getting teased a lot and that made me angry and somewhat sad.

Seungmin seemed smart, like really smart, but maybe too out there to be completely understood. The good thing was that he didn’t take opinions about him too seriously.

I saw Felix just standing there, his gaze moving from one talking figure to the other, no expression on his face. What was he thinking? Was he afraid of us? At least he looked at us now, which was an improvement from him staring at the floor all the time. I wanted to tell him that everything was going to be fine, that whatever happened in his life would stop hurting one day, but then again I didn’t know anything about him.

Jisung was very loud and tried to get his point across as if it were the only valid opinion. He simply didn’t listen to anything but his own voice.

Then those brown eyes met mine, and I realized that Chan was again looking at me. He smiled and I had to turn to the sign overhead to focus on something that wasn’t him. The blinking lights had not moved or changed, but I tried my best to seem interested in them.

Chan was, well, gorgeous for one, calm and relaxed, he had a sort of introspection about him that made him unreachable and yet easy to rely on. A natural leader, we all looked to him for guidance. I felt that Jisung was jealous of him, although he would never admit it.

Chan didn’t speak much, but rather listened. You just wanted to know what he was thinking, or at least, I wanted to know what he thought of well, me? He seemed so familiar, but how could I forget a face like his? I felt so ordinary in my old jeans, hair that could use a new style, plain hazel eyes. Next to my companions I had absolutely nothing special.

What did Chan see? I wanted, and at the same time was terrified, to know. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn’t sense him walking over to me.

“You’re awfully quiet,” he whispered to me.

“Chan,” Jisung cried, “do you agree that the sign means that we’ll die here? We have to get out.” Jisung tapped his foot on the floor taking Chan’s attention away from me. For once I was grateful for his indiscretion. Chan turned around and took his time to answer.

He always seemed to look for the right words.

“No, I don’t think that’s it, this place hasn’t been hostile to us,” he said finally. “We have to figure out why we’re here, there has to be something that links us, I don’t think it’s just chance.” He turned again when he said that and I could have sworn that his statement was directed at me.

Jisung stopped tapping his foot and nudged Changbin, who was beside him, in the ribs. “Do you get this guy? _This place hasn’t been hostile._ I would love to hear his definition of hostile.”

Changbin was rubbing his ribs where he had poked him and started to argue with him about everything again. Meanwhile, Seungmin chanted all the facts he knew about alien life to a bewildered Hyunjin and a mute Felix. That left Chan and me where we had left off.

“You really think there’s a connection?” I asked him, noticing my palms getting sweaty and my pulse beating faster by his closeness.

I tried so hard not to look interested, but I felt so obviously flustered. I wished he wasn’t good at getting people, but who was I kidding? He could definitely read me. Thankfully he wasn’t looking at me but rather at the rest of the dysfunctional group we were a part of. “I think we’ll find out soon enough.”

We both fell silent for a while, not knowing what to say, until I turned to Chan again.

God, curiosity would be the end of me.

“There’s something I’ve been wondering about ever since The Guardian left,” I said in a low voice, not wanting the others to hear.

“Why did he call you Chan Dreamer? It didn’t sound like a mistake to him.”

Something in Chan’s face changed, and he thought of this for a moment. “It kinda sounds like my name,” he said. “I’m Chan D. Reamur, he just misread.”

“What does the D stand for?” There I go again.

“I don’t know,” he said looking straight at me with solemn eyes. “My mom says it was my dad’s idea, that he liked the ring to it.”

“Have you ever asked your dad what it stands for?”

He took his time before answering and for the first time since we met, he didn’t look me in the eyes. I knew I had meddled into something I shouldn’t have, and I regretted it deeply.

“I never asked him, he left a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry,” was all I could say, and I really was. Sorry that I had opened up this strange connection with this guy. I didn’t even know where he was from and here I was opening a wound so difficult to heal. I looked away acting as if Jisung had said something interesting, wanting to erase this brief moment of intimacy we just shared.

“It’s all right,” he said casually, but I couldn’t find anything else to say. I was too busy beating myself up for prying into stuff that was absolutely none of my business.

So we just stood there in this uncomfortable silence while the rest of the group’s voices filled the room I was about to start small talk again just to break the tension, but I sensed Chan getting very serious.

“Something changed in the lights,” he said.

I followed his gaze and saw a slight flicker, very faint, but then it happened again.

Changbin and Jisung were still arguing and didn’t notice that the place was changing. Some plants and shrubs grew in the background and the bright lights dimmed. Chan and I approached them and as we stepped up, the chairs vanished. Hearts beating fast, we all converged in the middle of the room, feeling an imminent threat.

“Listen to me, we have to be prepared for any kind of otherwordly invasion,” Seungmin said, pushing his glasses back into place.

“Stop with the aliens, damn it!” Jisung shouted.

“Hey, leave the little guy alone,” Hyunjin said, coming to his defense.

“Who are you calling little?” Seungmin asked, offended.

“Yeah, Skinny, he’s not little, more like underdeveloped,” added Jisung while he skipped over shrubs that were growing between his feet.

“Be quiet, all of you!” Chan shouted, annoyed. “Something’s wrong.”

The room went dark. Of course Chan was right. Nothing good ever came out of a sudden blackout. We all kept quiet and concentrated even tighter in the center of the room.

A big palm tree erupted in front of Changbin, and he screamed as he was thrown backward. He got to his feet quickly, clinging to Chan, fear in his eyes. Felix started to run away from the group, but another palm tree came out of nowhere and he quickly stepped back.

“We have to stick together!” Chan cried, as a rush of hot wind hit us and blew our hair up in the air.

Everything around us transformed before our eyes. The ground turned from solid into mud, and I could even feel faint rain falling over my head. Overgrown grass made every step more difficult and trenches dug themselves in the ground, surrounded by barbed fence, making it hard to stay together.

We were in almost complete darkness, the sound of machine guns filling the air. The only light came from torches thrown into the sky.

Changbin started screaming and wouldn’t stop while Jisung looked for refuge behind Hyunjin, and Seungmin hollered orders that we couldn’t hear.

My heart was racing. This wasn’t a dream, it felt more like a nightmare.

Out of nowhere, a company of seven soldiers swept in, pointing their guns at us. They were shouting but I couldn’t understand a word. A helicopter flew close to the ground, throwing us off balance, Felix even fell to his knees. The soldiers kept aiming at our chests so we threw our hands in the air, all except Changbin who was busy trying to keep his hair from flying all over the place.

“What do these men want with us? Where are we?” Changbin shouted, but he never got a response when an officer pulled him aside, as he screamed at the top of his lungs, desperately trying to get away.

Hyunjin tried to stop them, but was quickly thrown to the ground next to where Felix was still lying, too scared to look up.

The helicopter flew away and the machine guns went quiet for a moment, so we could finally hear ourselves think. I was confused and terrified, not knowing what to do but stand there with my arms held high. No one had said anything about a war, or about leaving the strange, but comfortable, white room. This was surreal, but the fear was definitely real.

“Down on the floor,” one of the guards yelled, and when we hesitated he yelled even louder. “All of you! Now!”

One by one we got to our knees, while Changbin kept shouting and trying to bite the hand of his captor.

“Could someone please tell us what’s going on?” I pleaded, putting my hands behind my head, but no one paid attention to me. My clothes were a mess and my hair was wet. I couldn’t believe that a moment ago I was so worried about having said something stupid to Chan. Now here we were, not knowing if we would survive this.

Chan turned to me and mouthed, _“It will be alright,”_ making the situation a little brighter. Smiling a little I nodded, hoping that his words would be true. We were all facedown when Seungmin stepped up.

“We come in peace,” he said, making a peace sign with his fingers. One of the soldiers approached him, took him by the collar and shoved him back down.

“Are we in some kind of trouble?” Chan asked, looking up at them, his hands still behind his head. “We haven’t done anything, we don’t even know why—”

“We cannot talk to prisoners, so shut up!” interrupted another guard, pushing Chan’s head down.

Chan looked over at me, _“Prisoners?”_ he mouthed.

A guard spotted him and kicked his head to the floor. Afraid for my life I kept my gaze down, just looking out of the corner of my eye to see if Chan was hurt, but he winked at me, mud on his handsome face.

“Who is the leader of your group?” one of the soldiers asked. Jisung instantly raised his hand and signaled to Hyunjin who was beside him.

“You!” the soldier shouted, going over to Hyunjin and getting him up by the back of his shirt.

“Me?” Hyunjin asked, eyes wide-open. “I’m not the leader… Jisung?”

Jisung stood up and pushed Hyunjin from behind.

“Take him,” he said. “Even the worst of your snipers could hit him. He covers a wide perimeter.”

Jisung was hiding behind Hyunjin, and I couldn’t believe that under the circumstances Jisung still had the nerve to bully him.

Hyunjin turned to the soldiers. “I swear I am no leader of any kind... Jisung?”

The soldiers stood quiet for a moment looking at Hyunjin, then one of them shoved him out of the way to show Jisung cowering behind.

“You, stand tall,” he ordered Jisung, who straightened up. The soldiers were all looking at him sternly.

“How many whippings do you think he would stand?” One soldier asked towards the other, his hand touching his chin as if deep in thought.

“I don’t think he would stand more than three, so let’s give him five.” Jisung ’s face went white, hands twitching.

“Whippings? Are we in the Middle Ages?” Jisung asked, his voice quivering. The soldiers simply smiled, so he turned to Hyunjin. “This is all your fault.”

Hyunjin was about to answer when we were joined by another figure, taller than the other soldiers and wearing a different uniform.

He had many insignias on his breast and his expression was serene and firm, oozing authority.

“General,” said the soldier who had been in charge, saluting as the whole company stood guard. The only sounds came from Changbin screaming, who was still struggling to escape the grip of his captor. The General walked directly towards him. It seemed that the other soldiers had completely forgotten about the whippings and Jisung.

“You will be quiet!” he shouted and Jisung immediately stood still. The General paced up and down, looking at all of us while we watched him with a mix of fear and curiosity. He eyed Hyunjin and Jisung, Changbin now whimpering. I was still on the ground with my arms over my head, wishing that the three of them would be quiet and behave so that maybe this General could tell us why we were here.

“You might be wondering why you’re under arrest,” The General said, still pacing. I let out a sigh, hoping that he would make some sense of the whole situation. He made a theatrical pause, and I wondered if he was waiting for one of us to interrupt.

“You are under arrest by the order of the king,” he finished and I heard Felix gasp.

“King?” Seungmin asked, which got him hit in the back of the head.

“You are under arrest,” The General continued, ignoring Seungmin and pausing again for an exaggerated long period, “for high treason.”

“High treason? We don’t even know what country we’re in! This is nonsense!” Changbin shouted, while his guard held him even tighter around the arms.

“Nonsense, you say?” The General asked, getting closer to him. “Take him. Maybe after a little special session he will see the sense to this.”

The soldier took one step back and Changbin gave a horrifying shriek. He pleaded with the General for them not to torture him, but he just looked away and resumed his pacing in front of the rest of us.

All I could do was raise my head, watching as Changbin fought to get free, kicking and screaming. Jisung and Hyunjin stood next to the soldiers, Felix, Seungmin, Chan and I still face down. This was just hideous.

“He’s done nothing wrong, _we’ve_ done nothing wrong,” Seungmin shouted, this time getting up, surprising all of us as well as the war company.

The soldier behind Seungmin hit him hard in the back and threw him to the ground.

“You will keep quiet, or do you want to join your boyfriend?” he said as Seungmin spit blood from his mouth.

Two soldiers started to take Changbin away, his screams and pleas the only sound all around. All we could do was watch as he was being dragged farther away, helpless under the barrel of guns.

My heart was pounding and I kept hoping for all of this to end, for The Guardian to appear and say that this was all just a big, bad joke. But the reality of our situation was clearer than ever. What had we gotten ourselves into? I turned to Chan who just looked back in desperation while Changbin’s screams became almost inaudible. Where had they taken him?

“You can’t do this,” Seungmin shouted, standing up one more time, the General’s gun aimed directly at his face. “He’s innocent!”

“Innocent, you say?” The General said with a laugh. “You don’t know what innocence is.”

“And you don’t know that I’m a trained black belt,” Seungmin replied, taking the gun from him with one kick and passing it to Chan who had used the momentary confusion of the guards to stand up.

The General, who was twice the size of Seungmin, lunged at him, but missed and fell to the ground, knocking over the soldier who was looking over me. I jumped up and took his rifle, knocking down the soldier that was guarding Chan. My dad had taught me how to use guns when I was a little boy, so I didn’t feel awkward with the firearm, even though it was a bit heavy. The adrenaline was pumping so hard through my veins that I just went with it.

“Chan, look out,” I shouted as another guard tried to get him from behind. He was able to duck and the soldier tumbled onto another. Hyunjin and Jisung had come back to the group as their captors went to tend to the General, and Hyunjin helped Chan up as I threw Jisung my rifle and got another from the ground.

By this time we were all armed, even Felix, who was afraid to speak but not to defend his life.

I saw Jisung enjoy hitting soldiers in the head with the back of his rifle, and he even scared many of them away with strange tribal cries.

By this time the General had Seungmin up in his arms, but he bit his ear so hard that the General threw him away as a gush of blood sputtered from the right side of his face. Hyunjin was sitting on top of two guards on the floor and Felix was watching over another, holding his gun to the guard’s head. If he was shaking he was good at hiding it.

Suddenly a loud scream came from Changbin, who was somewhere in the jungle, out of sight.

Seungmin turned to Chan who threw him a gun, which he then put up to the General’s head.

“Drop your guns or I’ll shoot your General!” he shouted and for a moment he didn’t look like a boney kid. He was really intimidating.

All the soldiers stood still, not knowing what to do.

“Do as he says,” The General commanded and his men backed down. Seungmin was still holding up the gun while we started to round up the soldiers, making them kneel on the floor with their hands in the air.

“Give me the guy,” Seungmin ordered, his hand steady to the General’s head.

“Bring him,” The General said. A guard disappeared for a moment and came back with Changbin, who was still screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Please let me go, I’ll give you anything,” he was pleading to his guard who then let him free. He looked at the group, straightening his hair and adjusting his shirt that was out of place and torn. He had a cut over his left eyebrow that was bleeding a little bit, but other than that he seemed completely like himself.

“Are you all right?” Seungmin asked, his gun still pointing at the General. “Did they hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine,” he answered, looking at the scene in surprise. “What happened here?”

“Seungmin saved you,” I said. “He saved all of us.”

He slowly walked up to Seungmin. He looked at the General kneeling on the floor and then back at him. He didn’t say a word, he just gave him a heartfelt hug. Seungmin got all flushed and tried to pull away, but he was clinging to him.

We were still holding our ground, but for the first time I really looked around to take in the situation. Here we were, unarmed, inexperienced, and we had managed to get ourselves free by working together. We didn’t really know each other, but we had done everything to help.

“I... I’m glad you’re okay,” Seungmin said and then told the General to get up.

“What do we do now?” Hyunjin asked, still sitting on top of two very unhappy soldiers.

“Let’s torture them a little bit,” Jisung said, hitting one of them in the face with his rifle and enjoying it.

“We will do nothing of the sort,” Seungmin said in an authoritative tone. “As long as they leave us alone, we don’t have to hurt them.”

Changbin was still hugging him from the side and put his head on his shoulder.

“You can go now,” Seungmin told the General, who turned in disbelief as Seungmin lowered the gun he was pointing at his head. “We have done nothing wrong, this was all just a big misunderstanding.”

The General just stood there staring at him. Changbin let go and turned to him, admiration in his eyes.

“You were so brave!” he said as he squeezed Seungmin even tighter.

“Brave? Me?” he asked, dropping his gun to the floor.

Suddenly everything turned black and we couldn’t see anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chan best leader  
> seungmin bravest boy  
> changbin softest baby 
> 
> lololol okay why are they so dysfunctional idek
> 
> but i hope you enjoyed this chapter! sorry for any mistakes, i didn't proof read once again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! tysm for all the nice comments :) i appreciate them sm. hope ur enjoying the story so far! this one's gonna be a lil emo n soft just so you know.

One, two, three, four, five, six... I felt the air change from sticky and hot to cool and pleasant. The floor, firm and dry. The jungle we had been in just a minute ago was gone. A hand was holding mine and my instincts told me to let go. It had been Chan. I couldn’t see him, but I felt him right there ...seven, eight, eight and a half. Then, as suddenly as darkness had come, the light returned. We were all again in The Great White Room, exactly in the same position we had been before the lights went out, but no guards, no General, no war.

I felt a void where the rifle I was holding had been. Jisung was kneeling on the floor, but there were no soldiers to guard anymore. Changbin had been hugging Seungmin, but he wasn’t there either, so Changbin almost dropped to the floor as he tried to balance himself.

Chan quickly stepped away from me as the others got to their feet. I couldn’t stand to look at him, so I fussed over my shirt just to pay attention to something else. Hyunjin, who had been sitting on top of two prisoners, was now spread out on the floor.

“What happened to Seungmin?” Changbin asked, realizing that he had disappeared right under his arms. “Did the soldiers take him away?”

“I don’t think so,” Chan answered, looking back at the center of the room where the chairs were placed again in the same order they had been before. “Everything is back to normal,” he added, “as if nothing had happened. Even your shirt looks like new.”

Changbin looked down at his clothes, smooth and pressed. He touched his hair; clean and tangle free.

We were all back the way we had been before, when we had ended up disheveled in the struggle. Chan’s shirt had been a mess, Hyunjin had been all sweaty, some of the others had been scraped and Felix had a cut on his cheek. Now we were intact. I touched my face and it felt fresh, my shoes shiny and new.

Just as Chan had said, it was as if nothing had ever happened.

We all gathered in the center of the room, Changbin still calling for Seungmin and looking under the chairs for him.

“He’s not here,” Jisung said. “He’s not so small that we wouldn’t see him.”

“This is insane!” Changbin cried out. “He was here just a moment ago, just before the blackout. What if he got stuck with the soldiers? We have to do something!”

Changbin was interrupted by a rumbling noise coming from the floor, which opened up to show the head and then the body of The Guardian. He was wearing a silver bathrobe and a pair of furry slippers that had the head of a unicorn on them, his hair was a mess, as if he had just gotten out of bed. He was sitting in a chair next to a coffee table, eating what looked like eggs and sausage for breakfast.

He was reading a peculiar newspaper that consisted only of one page, the headline covering the entire front cover. I couldn’t help but be caught up in this story about a boy genius who had discovered the cure to some sort of illness that affected children. I focused on the picture: the figure looked so familiar that I could have sworn it was Seungmin, just more mature, still the same glasses and awkward sense of style, but somehow, different.

“Is that—?” I asked pointing to the paper, but I was interrupted by The Guardian.

“Good morning everyone!”

“Good morning?” Jisung asked. “It hasn’t even been night yet.”

“Not for you, but not everyone is you,” he replied.

Jisung turned to Felix who was beside him.

“Did you get that?” he asked, but Felix just ignored him. Jisung kept looking at him but he seemed to be trying not to notice him. “Right, you don’t speak,” he said throwing his arms in the air and walking over to Hyunjin who was still sitting on the floor.

“What happened to Seungmin?” Changbin asked, approaching The Guardian who was taking a sip of coffee. “I didn’t get a chance to thank him for saving me.”

“Oh, I’m sure he got the point,” Jisung said, then mimicked him hugging and Seungmin.

“I was not—” Changbin started.

“Shush,” The Guardian interrupted, “it’s too early to listen to you two babbling.” He set down his newspaper which then vanished along with the coffee table and chair. He got up, put on his silver glasses and seemed ready to make another abrupt exit.

“You can’t go, you just got here,” Changbin said, stepping in front of him.

“Oh, can’t I?” The Guardian said, staring him in the eyes. Changbin didn’t let him intimidate him and held his ground. The Guardian clicked his fingers and shouted “ _Security!”_ Immediately, two men dressed all in black came running from the right side of the room. They stopped in front of The Guardian, saluted, then took Changbin away from him, sitting him down on his chair.

“Hey!” he complained, trying to get away from the men’s grip.

“This is a warning, mister,” one of the security guards said, letting go of his arm. “Next time, we won’t be this kind.” They strode off as quickly as they had entered. The Guardian smiled at Changbin and kept on walking.

“Wait, please,” I pleaded, taking a step toward him, but careful enough not to seem too pushy. I definitely didn’t want those men in black to return. “Would you tell us what happened to Seungmin?”

“Nothing happened to Seungmin,” he replied looking back at me, enjoying all the attention. “He just fulfilled his dream and didn’t need to be here anymore.”

Changbin gasped and Jisung’s mouth opened. Felix looked up from the floor in amazement.

“What?” Jisung asked when he could get his mouth to utter the words.

“His dream was to fight soldiers?” Hyunjin asked, scratching his head.

“Are you always this plain?” The Guardian answered, making Hyunjin blush and Jisung snicker.

“You’re not so bright yourself,” he said to Jisung, who stopped laughing when a big, pointy hat that read _‘’ass’’_ appeared on his head.

“Hey, what did I do?” he asked trying to get it off, but it was stuck.

“Do _you_ know what Seungmin’s dream was?” The Guardian asked, Jisung still struggling with the thing on his head.

“Uh,” he replied while he walked in circles fighting the pointy hat. “Maybe his dream was to be smothered by a guy, although I don’t know why he would choose Changbin…”

“I was not—” Changbin started again.

“We don’t really care what his dream was,” Jisung cried, fighting the silly hat.

“Sure we do.” Hyunjin said, taking the words out of my mouth. Chan walked to my side, and I realized that he had been silent for a while. Was he offended at me for letting go of his hand? I tried to read his face but really couldn’t tell.

“Didn’t you see the paper?” Chan said abruptly, startling all of us. “Seungmin went home to become a brilliant scientist. His dream was to overcome his fears, that’s what the soldiers were, his fears.”

His words made everything fall into place. The picture in the paper, the war. We had been tricked into believing that what we were experiencing was real, but it wasn’t. It had all been a ploy and we had fallen for it head on.

“What do you mean?” Jisung asked puzzled, annoyed, and mad at his _“ass”_ hat.

“You mean, that the soldiers were a way to make him realize how fearless he could be?” Changbin asked.

“How fearless he had always been,” Felix added from behind the group, making everyone turn to him. I looked at him and smiled, so maybe he was also just paying attention.

The Guardian started clapping. “Well done,” he said before stepping out of the room without saying another word.

“Wait,” Changbin cried, running after him.

“Come back.” Changbin got to the mist but stopped, probably dreading having security come back, so he turned back to us. “The next time he comes I’m going to hold him here until he explains everything!”

“Don’t you ever learn?” Jisung said.

“Excuse me?” Changbin answered. “This coming from the person with a pointy hat on his head for speaking out of line?” Jisung just crossed his arms, not finding his usual quick retaliation.

“It’s useless,” Hyunjin said, sitting back down in his big red chair. “He won’t be coming back soon.”

I also sat down and noticed that Seungmin’s armchair was gone. There were six places for the six of us left. _So this is how it goes_ , I thought, _we will be leaving one by one_. I wanted so much to discuss everything I was thinking with Chan, but the hand-holding incident left me uneasy. Should I just let this strange connection between us take its course? Would he like me, even when he learned everything about me?

Nobody spoke for a while. We were all sitting down, exhausted from the fight with the soldiers. Even though everything external was back to normal, we were tired and a bit rattled. What we had just lived through had felt so authentic.

“I don’t get it,” Hyunjin said after a while. “How did Seungmin know that the soldiers weren’t real?”

“I don’t think he did,” Chan answered. “He really believed that he was risking his life to save Changbin.”

“Wow,” Changbin said in a mellow, almost tender voice. “He didn’t even know me.”

“Now don’t go thinking that it was because you’re special,” Jisung said, playing with his chair, “because you’re not.”

“What do you know about it, _ass_?” He replied trying to hit his annoying hat, but missing, making it turn green with neon letters. Jisung laughed even more, wallowing in the fact that he had made Changbin mad.

“Oh, come on, guys, we were talking about Seungmin,” Hyunjin said, turning to Chan again. “What else did the newspaper say?”

“I didn’t get a chance to read it all,” Chan replied.

“The picture I remember perfectly,” I added.

“He looked different, more mature, more—”

“Confident?” Jisung said. Then the sound of soft thunder made him stand up from his chair, and his blinking hat disappeared.

“Hmmm!” he exclaimed, touching his head.

“I guess you said something smart,” Chan said, and Jisung, now without his _‘’ass’’_ hat, beamed as he tried to arrange his even messier hair, walking to the end of the room, past Felix. Jisung looked at him and smiled, but Felix never smiled back. Jisung kept smiling, expecting some sort of return, but Felix just looked past him at the horizon.

He hopped back on his chair and rolled it between Hyunjin and Chan.

“It’s not that I prefer to be next to you, Skinny,” Jisung said, “but he creeps me out.”

Hyunjin didn’t smile either, as he tried to move his chair closer to Chan and force Jisung to go back to his place.

“I haven’t forgotten that you wanted the soldiers to take me,” Hyunjin said, turning his back on him.

“Oh, come on, Skinny, don’t take it personal.”

Jisung tried to talk himself out of trouble with Hyunjin, so we let them sort out their problems on their own.

Changbin came over to Chan and me. “Chan,” he said in a quiet voice so no one else could hear him, “how will we know when we’re fulfilling our own dreams?”

“I don’t think we’re supposed to,” Chan answered. “Not until we have done what we came here to do.”

The more I heard him speak the more surprised I was by his insight. He observed more than he spoke, so he understood more than the rest of us. It scared me a little to realize that all the time he spent looking my way, he was trying to understand me.

“I was afraid of that,” Changbin replied after taking everything in. “Why do _we_ have to go through all that trouble? Why can’t the one dreaming be all by him or herself? That war thing was not fun.”

“Do you know what else is not fun,” Jisung said, jumping at the opportunity to pick on someone, “being here with you. But it seems that there’s nothing we can do about that either.”

His politeness hadn’t lasted as long as I had hoped, and the peace was now gone.

“What did I ever do to you?” Changbin shouted, giving in to his taunts. Jisung stood up from his chair and was so much taller, Changbin had to look up.

“You exist,” Jisung replied, resting his arm on Changbin’s shoulder, which he shook away. Jisung laughed at him and Changbin got so mad that he slapped him in the face, hard. Jisung’s hand flew up to rub his cheek. He was so surprised, he was speechless.

“Guys, stop it, please,” Chan said getting in the middle of them. There was worry in his face and hatred on both sides of him. We were weary and anxious, which was not a good combination. Changbin stepped back behind Chan.

“Why should we listen to you?” Jisung fake laughed. “Just because you’re mister wise guy? Because you said so?” he said, pushing Chan away.

Chan was taller than Jisung and even though Jisung seemed scrawny he was rather strong.

Chan looked like he was trying hard to control himself from pushing back, so Jisung pushed harder, throwing him to the ground.

Chan quickly got up, red in the face while we all watched in horror. Changbin covered his mouth with his hands while I ran up to them. Chan already had his fists up and the veins in his forehead were showing. Good-bye, self-control.

“Please don’t,” I shouted but my words were drowned out by a blaring alarm that rebounded everywhere. The sound was so loud that we all covered our ears. What _now?_

I looked, preparing for whatever was being thrown our way.

Then silence.

We uncovered our ears, afraid of another threat, when we saw a figure walking our way from the left side of the room. Automatically, we gathered in the middle, the potential fight forgotten instantly. As he got closer we could see it was a man, well, more like a guy. Yes, definitely a guy. Black pants, crisp white shirt, top button open under a loose blue tie. Not just a guy. A cute guy. Black hair perfectly combed to the side, light brown eyes, a pair of glasses that only made him look even more dapper. Confident walk, quick smile. Interesting.

As he got closer we all let our guard down, and fear turned to curiosity.

The guy stood in front of us, binder in his left hand, pen in the right.

“Seo Changbin? Han Jisung?” he asked, looking down at his paper.

Jisung and Changbin looked at each other.

“What do you want?” Jisung asked.

“Who are you?” Changbin inquired.

“I’m here representing The Order of the Place of Dreams. We have been notified of a violation to the rules of good behavior and sportsmanship,” he said, looking straight at Changbin. “Has this young man been mistreating you?” Changbin blushed as the guy approached him. “Sir Changbin? Is this correct?”

“ _Sir Changbin_?” Jisung mimicked and the guy turned to him sternly.

“I assume you are Han Jisung? Correct?”

“Yeah, so?” he answered, brash as ever.

“Well, Mr. Han, we have received complaints about your behavior and that is unacceptable.”

Hyunjin, who had been trying to get the attention of the guy, raised his hand but no one was acknowledging him. “Mister? Hello? Jisung has also been calling me names and stuff.”

“Now you’re throwing me under the bus, Skinny?” Jisung exclaimed.

“See?” was all Hyunjin could say, but the guy turned to Changbin again.

“Changbin, is there something you would like to say?”

Changbin looked flattered and shy, which made me smile to myself. This guy was making him nervous as hell. I was just hoping Jisung wouldn’t catch on to it.

“Jisung has been a bit rude, but it’s fine,” he said finally.

The guy walked closer to him. “No, it’s not fine, this kind of attitude is intolerable.”

He then turned to Jisung again. “By the high decree, Mr. Han, you are to be submitted for a psych evaluation to determine if you are fit to finish your role in this place.”

“What?” Jisung sputtered. “I hate shrinks! What if I refuse?”

“You cannot,” he said as a psychologist’s lounge chair emerged from the floor along with all the furnishings of a doctor’s office.

“I’m sorry, Changbin, but this involves you as well,” the guy said as he sat down in front of them in a smaller comfortable-looking leather recliner. “Sit, please,” he asked Changbin and Jisung. They reluctantly obeyed.

Hyunjin, Chan, Felix and I just stood there until the guy, who I now assumed was the therapist, asked us all to sit down as well. We did so in a sofa on the right side of the doctor’s desk, facing Jisung and Changbin. Jisung was restless as ever and muttering things to himself which I guessed were insults of some kind. Changbin appeared fussy, fiddling with his sleeves.

“So,” the therapist started, “tell me about yourself, Jisung.” He gave him a cold look and rolled his eyes.

“Hi, my name is Han Jisung, and I am obnoxious.”

The therapist didn’t change his interested face, even though I could tell he noticed Jisung was making fun of the whole situation.

“How about you, Changbin?”

Changbin turned to the floor and a somber look appeared on his face. “I know what you’re going to say about me,” he said, his voice quivering a little bit. “I’ve been to offices like this since I was five.”

“Wow,” Jisung chuckled , “what did you do? Did you have no parents or something?”

Changbin had left his feisty self at the shrink’s door. “They sent me to therapy because they couldn’t or didn’t want to handle me.”

“Oh,” Jisung said in a small voice and kept quiet.

“Do you want to talk about that?” The therapist asked and Changbin just shook his head. “Then we will continue with Mr. Han.”

He turned all his attention to Jisung. “Jisung, is there any reason for you to be intimidated by Changbin? Do you feel inferior in any way and wish to make up for it by bringing him down?”

“Whaaaat?” Jisung snickered. “You’re kidding, right?” he said, smiling and trying to look natural, but he was really agitated. The therapist still kept his calm demeanor, and Changbin never turned to Jisung. He kept looking straight.

“No, I am not,” The therapist continued.

“There has to be a reason for such aggression. Was it acquired? Is it a defense mechanism of some kind? Were you bullied as a boy?

“I, uh, that’s nobody’s business,” he sputtered, his ears getting red.

“It’s all right,” The therapist added in his soothing voice, “it’s common for those who have suffered abuse of some kind to turn and inflict it on others.”

“You know nothing,’’ Jisung shouted, getting up.

“You will sit down, sir.”

“What if I don’t feel like it?”

Changbin lifted his arm and took Jisung’s wrist.

It was so subtle and soft, that Jisung couldn’t help but follow Changbin’s wrist and sit down beside him. There had been such a change in Changbin, it was captivating.

“It’s okay, really,” Changbin said, “it’s not about him, you know. It’s me. All the evaluations have been the same. I’m egocentric, narcissistic, self-centered, spoiled, self-absorbed, conceited, megalomaniac. I’ve heard it all before.”

Jisung looked at Changbin from the corner of his eyes, and didn’t utter a word. I felt the need to stand up and give Changbin a hug, but I knew I wasn’t supposed to. He looked so vulnerable. Hyunjin was on the verge of tears, and Felix was no longer looking down at the floor. Chan was so close to me that I could almost hear his heartbeat. The lights had dimmed and all we could see was Changbin sitting there, fiddling with his sleeves, his big eyes so sincere.

The therapist put his pen down and walked up to him. He gave him his hand and asked him to stand up. He took off his glasses and put them down on his chair. He took both of Changbin’s hands in his and looked him straight in the eyes.

“You, Changbin, are not egocentric, narcissistic, self-centered, spoiled, self-absorbed, or conceited. You can decide what you want to be from this moment on. You are a beautiful spirit, a unique soul, a son of God. All that has been before this moment matters no more. Your path is only yours to take, the choice yours to make.”

Tears streamed down Changbin’s face and the whole room seemed to dissolve around them.

“Repeat after me,” The therapist said while Changbin closed his eyes. “I am strong.”

“I am strong.”

“I am worthy.”

“I am worthy.”

“I am heart.”

“I am...”

Changbin opened his eyes, took in the light from the guy’s eyes, smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, and said, “Heart.”

Suddenly, everything turned black and we couldn’t see anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope everyone had a great christmas if u celebrate! ALSO felix has red hair bye this is the end of me

One, two, three, four... this time I badly wanted to take someone's hand. I said a silent good-bye to Changbin and waited for the lights to return. ... Five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half. The office was gone and we were all sitting in our very own chair.

Jisung was also in his place between Hyunjin and Chan, Changbin's beautiful seat the only thing missing from the row. Now we were five. This last dream had been so different from the first, we had not expected anything at all. At least it had taken me completely by surprise.

Jisung was sitting with his head in his hands, a gloomy look to him. The trip to the shrink's office had been... interesting. He was kicking the ground and I couldn't tell if he was sad or mad.

My attention was taken away from Jisung by the sound of upbeat music. A trapdoor opened in the floor in front of us, and The Guardian emerged, singing out of tune to a silver boom box on his shoulder. He was wearing a pair of silver oversized jeans and a football jersey that read _The Guard_ on the back along with an infinity sign.

" _I am The Guardian, guard, dream along with me, and be all you can be,_ " he rapped and finished with his hands in the air, his gaze at the horizon. Again, we knew he was waiting for his applause.

When we finished clapping he took the boom box away from his shoulder and left it near Chan's chair. Jisung had been staring at The Guardian, a ray of light in his eyes.

"You a rapper?" Jisung asked him and then freestyled some really bad rhymes. We were listening to the bad combination of music from both Jisung and The Guardian when the boom box changed stations to a newscast.

"Breaking news. Seo Changbin, heir to the Seo oil fortune became head of the new Seo Children's Hospital, one of the biggest charity institutions ever funded in the country. After much negotiation he achieved what many people thought impossible. Half of his father’s wealth is now destined to a beneficial cause. Many lives will change with this institution, which centers its attention on children with life threatening diseases..."

I turned to Chan and he smiled, that very smile that began in his eyes and could melt your... my... heart. The news faded while Jisung was still rapping.

 _"Imma Jisung, I came to enjoy—"_ He turned to Hyunjin. "What else rhymes with Jisung?"

"Nothing?" The Guardian answered, looking, well, annoyed. "That one suits you just fine."

Jisung kept quiet and sat down, a scowl on his face, and we were back to square one.

This had not been his day.

"So what did you do to Changbin?" Jisung asked. "Did you kidnap him like he thought we had? Did that pathetic excuse for a shrink take him off to happily never after?" He was struggling to seem his hotshot self when there was true hurt in his voice.

The Guardian turned to him and just shrugged.

"It was on the news," I said since he hadn't heard anything with all the rapping.

"News? What news?" Jisung asked.

"Yes," The Guardian said, "what news?"

I was about to start to explain, but I knew there was no sense to it. The boom box had already returned to a 90's rap station.

"Everything and everyone in this place is nuts," Jisung said. "Is there any way I can get out now? This is getting old."

We all ignored him as was becoming a custom. I had really felt bad for him in that therapist's office, but then again, he had it coming.

"So, are you enjoying yourselves?" The Guardian asked, changing the subject while Jisung started rolling around in his chair.

"No!" Jisung shouted. "Didn't you hear me? I just said so."

The Guardian turned to him. "Oh, I am so over your complaints," he said right before a giant piece of silver duct tape appeared over Jisung's mouth. His eyes popped out in fury as he tried desperately to take it off. Jisung left his chair, and strutted over to The Guardian who stood patiently looking at him.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm," Jisung mumbled through the duct tape and The Guardian made a mouth with his hand. "Blah, blah, blah. That is all we hear from you. Sit down, chill, and then I'll take the tape off."

Jisung stopped mumbling and sat down in his place between Hyunjin and Chan. He grew dark and somber again.

"So, are you enjoying yourselves?" The Guardian asked again to the rest of us.

"It's been interesting," Chan said, "but I couldn't quite call it fun."

"Well, changing is hard," The Guardian said.

"Changing?" Hyunjin asked.

"What?" The Guardian asked, "who said anything about changing?" He laughed, a little forced for my taste. "Changing..."

"But you just said..."

"Tsk, tsk, look at the time," The Guardian said, looking at an oversized watch that had grown on his left wrist which read in neon letters " _you're late."_

I started to fear that he would be leaving again, but I knew I had to choose my words carefully so that he wouldn't run to the exit or call Security. "Mr. Guardian," I said in a very polite manner, getting his attention, "we're a little confused about everything and it seems that you're the only person who can help us out. Would you, please, help us understand a little bit more about our situation?"

The Guardian stared at me for a moment pondering his options.

"Maybe yes, maybe no," he answered as an interrogation chair and a man in a desk took form in front of him. The Guardian sat down, and the man strapped a polygraph machine to his arm. We all understood that he was giving us the opportunity to ask questions, which caused Jisung to start mumbling again, waving his arms in the air.

"Ok, ok," The Guardian said, snapping his fingers, making the duct tape disappear.

"Ah, finally." Jisung said, opening and closing his mouth to get a feeling of it again. "I'll go first," he ordered and we didn't object. "Well, you can start by telling us how to get out of here."

"I can only answer yes or no questions," The Guardian answered, very businesslike.

"Such are the rules." The man at the desk nodded.

Chan turned to me and I signaled him to go ahead. "Ok," he said, "are Changbin and Seungmin back home?"

"Yes," The Guardian answered and the man at the desk gave the group a thumbs-up.

"Are all our dreams individual?" I asked.

"Yes." And with that another thumbs-up.

"Am I next?" Jisung asked.

"Yes," The Guardian said and Jisung was delighted. But the man in the desk shook his head to which The Guardian smiled and Jisung did not.

"Will my dream be scary?" Hyunjin asked, anxiously.

"No," The Guardian replied.

"Inconclusive," the man at the desk said.

Hyunjin's face lost all its color. He made a move to hug Jisung, but thought better of it and just slumped in his seat.

It came to Felix's turn and I wondered if he would ask something or just sit there. After a brief moment of what looked like an internal debate, he took a deep breath.

"Does everyone accomplish their dream?" he asked and I realized that I hadn't even thought of that possibility.

The Guardian hesitated for a moment before he answered. "No," he finally said and the man at the desk nodded.

"What happens if you don't realize your dream?" Chan asked, but The Guardian was already stripping off the polygraph wires. He gave it to the man who then silently left the room.

"I'm sorry, no more questions."

"But..." we all started, but by then The Guardian was already gone. The only thing we could hear was his out of tune singing fading in the distance.

We were all standing there looking the way The Guardian had exited. I didn't need to ask because I knew we were all thinking the same thing. What if we didn't have what it takes to realize our dream?

"Does anybody else feel scared?" I asked, after a long pause.

"Yes," Hyunjin said.

"I don't believe anything bad is going to happen to any of us," Chan said.

It felt reassuring to listen to him, but I wasn't so sure.

"How do you know?" Jisung asked. "We could have easily gotten hurt in the war. And that last experience with Changbin wasn't what I'd call a walk in the park." I could tell he was upset, and maybe within reason.

"We have to stay calm," Chan said, "everything will be fine."

"Calm?" Jisung asked in a piercing voice. "Not me! I have to get out of here and I hope you'll all help me do it." He stood there waiting for someone to say something, but we all just sat there, not knowing what to do. "Ok, you wait here. I'll be the only one to come out of this alive."

He walked away from the group and we saw him try to cross the white mist with determination. Just as with Seungmin, Jisung was sent flying in the air. His landing seemed really painful, and I squinted my eyes. But he got up, brushed it off, and was firm in his mission to try to find some flaw and escape.

Meanwhile, we were surprised when a coffee table appeared in front of us with a teapot, teacups and a plate with cookies. Hyunjin's eyes lit up, we hadn't eaten anything since we had arrived. How much time had passed, I really couldn't tell. It felt like forever, but at the same time, like an instant. Taking advantage of the peace from Jisung's absence, who we just heard randomly cursing as he tried to get out in vain, we all served ourselves a cup of tea and waited with a bit of small talk.

"Felix," Hyunjin said, "you haven't said much in the time we've been here." He grabbed a cookie, and then another.

"I don't have much to say," he replied and took a sip from his cup. It was astonishing to hear him have a conversation. Maybe it was Jisung he was reluctant about, or maybe he was warming up to us.

"Of course you do," I said, "you can trust us, you know. It's not like we'll be seeing each other after this."

"It's not that..." he said, but didn't even finish his sentence. He just hid his face behind his cup and took another sip. We kept waiting for him to continue. Hyunjin simply gave up and kept on eating happily.

A cry came from the other side of the room and Jisung called to us to join him. He looked so fired up we couldn't help but go.

"You're not going to believe this," he cried, jumping up and down, hands twitching nervously.

He was standing over a hole in the floor.

As I approached I could see that there was a staircase running down to what looked like a basement. The open trapdoor was exactly the same color as the floor and I was surprised that Jisung had found something so difficult to see.

"We should go down there," Jisung said, his eyes gleaming.

"Are you crazy?" Hyunjin replied. "What if we get in trouble for doing things we're not supposed to do?"

"What's the worst that could happen?" Jisung said and we all looked back at Chan who was standing in the back.

"What do you think?" Chan asked, directly at me.

I didn't know what to think. The place didn't seem inviting, but I was incredibly curious. Was this also planned or was it really just a glitch?

"I guess it's worth a try," I said, giving in to my inquisitive side rather than my common sense.

"Ok," Chan said, looking down, "there's nothing that says we shouldn't. This place usually tells us when something is forbidden, and there's no sign here."

We all took a last look around just to make sure, and Jisung even stuck his face a little lower down the hole on the floor. There was nothing but an incandescent light coming from the interior. Maybe it really did lead to the outside.

"I'll go first," Jisung said after everyone agreed it was safe.

The stairs were circular and very steep.

There was no sound coming from below, except for Jisung's footsteps. Chan kept looking around, uneasy. I just hoped that nobody would enter the room any time soon. Even though we all agreed this was the right thing to do, it still felt like we were crossing a line.

"Maybe that's where The Guardian lives," Hyunjin whispered while Jisung kept descending until his messy hair disappeared.

"What do you see?" Chan called and his voice echoed throughout.

"Nothing yet." Jisung yelled back, "It's still all white here and there are lights coming from somewhere, but there doesn't seem to be an end to this."

"Are you sure you don't want to come back?" Hyunjin cried out, nervously.

"Wait," Jisung answered, his voice sounding far away. "I'm at the bottom. It's a big room with black leather seats and a projector. It's like a home theater or something."

"Is there anyone there?" Chan yelled.

"Nope. Come down, it's safe."

We all looked at each other and started to descend, first Hyunjin, then Felix, then me, and finally Chan, who almost sealed the entrance, just leaving the door slightly ajar, so that if someone walked into the room they wouldn't see where we were. The room was exactly as Jisung had said; a big, old-fashioned projector in the center, leather theater-like seats and a big screen. The only thing missing in the room was Jisung himself.

"Jisung!" Hyunjin shouted, panicking and jumping in place. "Where is Jisung? We have to get out of here!"

Then Jisung jumped in front of us, scaring the hell out of me. "I found another room," he said, visibly very excited. He really seemed to enjoy breaking the rules. "There are all kinds of tapes, should we see what they are?"

Chan and I followed and we saw rows and rows of film labeled with names, all in alphabetical order. Jisung and the others went up ahead leaving me with Chan. This was the first time we had been alone and his presence made me incredibly self-aware. He smiled as we walked through the row. My hands got sweaty and my pulse quickened. He had this effect on me, like caffeine, good-looking caffeine. Being the gentleman that he was, he let me lead the way as I read the names in my head. 

The list went on and on. He was so reserved, I found myself searching for interesting things to say to fill the void. He seemed so comfortable in his silence, but it made me more conscious of the way he kept looking at me.

"Do you suppose this is footage of other dreams?" I finally asked and Chan turned to me with those analytical brown eyes.

He took a step forward and I felt him so close I knew I was blushing. His hand brushed my arm and it took me a moment to understand that he was grabbing one of the tapes behind me.

"Chun Minho," he read, "you aren't the first Minho to be here."

I smiled, unnerved by the brush of his arm.

He kept his gaze on me and I couldn't tell if he was trying to read me or tell me something.

It was unsettling how he said so little, but expressed so much.

"Yeah," was all I could say as he put the tape back, again feeling his closeness and forgetting to think straight in the process.

He looked so calm, I felt so stupid.

"Maybe we are also being filmed," I said, trying to compose myself.

"I had concluded the same thing," Chan said.

 _Of course_.

I was finally starting to get comfortable in his gorgeous presence, when Jisung came running up to us.

"Look what I found," he said showing us a roll of film. "It says _'Chan Dreamer.'_ Wasn't that what The Guardian called you when we first got here?"

"Yes, yes it was," he said, taking the roll of film from Jisung's hands. He took his time and looked it over. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking so badly, but I remembered how uncomfortable it had been the last time I had inquired him about his personal life.

Hyunjin and Felix joined us, so the attention turned to them.

"I'm getting really worried," Felix said quietly to Hyunjin, who was standing behind him.

"I think we should go back," I said.

"No, wait, don't you want to know what this is about? We're already here! If we're gonna get in trouble, we're already in it." Jisung argued.

Chan was very quiet so I waited for him to say something; it was he after all who must have been most curious of all.

"I want to see it too," he finally said. "But someone better keep an eye on the stairs, I don't want any surprises."

"I'll keep watch," Hyunjin said, returning to the base of the stairs as we sat down on the leather seats. Jisung turned on the projector and the lights automatically went off.

The film started. It looked like a homemade movie. There was a black chair in the middle of a room but nobody was sitting in it. Then a man appeared in front of the camera, dressed in a clown suit with his face still in makeup. He sat down reluctantly, looking demoralized.

"For the record," a voice coming from behind the camera said. "Could you please recount today's events?"

"Where should I start?" the man asked, fidgeting with his fingers.

"From the moment you entered the room."

"Ok," he said, taking a breath. "We had everything planned from the beginning. We all knew our stations and the characters we were going to play. It was a circus theme, and the objective was for him, the dreamer, to become ringmaster when the one we had..."

"The ringmaster that one of you was playing," the voice interrupted.

"Yes, exactly, when the ringmaster, who one of us was playing, suddenly became ill and couldn't continue with the show," the man then stopped and took another breath.

"Then what happened?" the interrogator's voice said.

"Well, there were three dreamers left, and two of them were girls. So we made sure that they got roles, one as a trapeze artist and the other as a ballerina. But the man, the one who was supposed to step up to the plate, just froze."

"He just froze?" the voice repeated.

"Yes," the clown continued. "He saw the lions, and the bears and the crowd, and just froze. We thought he was going to do it when he stepped up, but it was only to get out of the tent, and out of the dream."

"What happened to him?"

"He... he fell into despair," the man said, almost trembling.

Then the image started to fail, the sound screeched and Jisung got up to fix it. The film came back on and the man was still sitting in his chair with his face in his hands.

"Is there anything else you want to say?" the voice behind the camera asked.

"It was awful. He seemed ready to succeed, but then something came over him. I had never seen anything like that before. It's as if he remembered something that brought this anger and fear from within. I'm very sorry."

He looked straight into the camera, got up and started walking toward the door and then stopped. "What will happen to him?"

The voice from behind the camera stood silent for a moment and then answered. "You know what happens to those who fall into despair. Rest easy, it wasn't your fault."

The man in the clown suit left the room with his head low and the voice from behind the camera appeared in the image. The man seemed very familiar, the silver clothing, the strange fashion sense, the hair. It was a younger version of The Guardian. The image died and we were left there sitting in the dark room, when Jisung got up and turned the lights back on. No one spoke for a long moment. I just felt a sudden urge to leave the room.

"Now we have to find a way to get out of here," Jisung said, darting for the stairs, visibly alarmed and spooking Hyunjin as they both struggled to get out.

I turned to Chan, who was still sitting there watching the dark screen. "My father was a big fan of the circus," he said softly, more to himself than to any of us. He then snapped out of it and urged Felix and me up the stairs.

When we all came out Chan closed the trapdoor and set it exactly as it was before.

We gathered around Jisung's chair.

"You get me now, right? We _have_ to get out of here! God knows what happened to that poor guy who was supposed to be the ringmaster. I will not let that happen to me, to any of us for that matter," Jisung said.

"How do you plan to do that?" Hyunjin asked.

"We need to trap The Guardian so that he _has_ to let us out," Jisung answered, mischief all over his face.

"I'm not so sure," I said. "I'm really not afraid of this place, you know, all the dreams have ended in something good and—"

"Not afraid?" Jisung interrupted. "Don't tell me you weren't afraid when those soldiers wanted to take Changbin."

"That was different, we know what to expect now."

"Really? What's next? I don't want to fall into despair. If you want to stay with your boyfriend here, at least help us do this."

I felt a slight blush when he called Chan "my boyfriend" and I tried to look away, but he was right there, taking everything in as usual. He hadn't said anything since the film and I really wanted to know what he was feeling and thinking right now.

"Minho's right, I don't want to leave either," Chan said finally.

Jisung rolled his eyes and was about to start objecting, but Felix beat him to it.

"Chan, could you help us get out, please? If you don't want to do it for Jisung, please do it for me," it was the longest sentence he had uttered since we had met.

Jisung was so loud and demanding that I hadn't even taken into account how Felix felt. He seemed so fragile. His request was more like a plea. If we considered ourselves his friends, we had to do this for him. There was no way we could say no to that face.

"Felix, I will help you in whatever you need me to," was all Chan said and everything I thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi this chapter is kinda short sorry :/// but tysm for reading!

The idea was that Felix would be the one to call The Guardian while the rest of us waited for him to come, then Jisung and Hyunjin would grab him from behind. We all knew our chances were slim, but we agreed to try.

What I was really worried about was getting The Guardian mad and having to go home.

Deep down I was dreading that my time with the others, well, with Chan, would come to an abrupt end. While Jisung was coaching Felix on what he had to say, Chan approached me.

"Can I tell you something, just between us?" he asked me, and involuntarily my pulse quickened and my stomach turned into knots. The mere sound of his voice made me feel aflame. It was so hard to keep my cool around him. _Breathe, Minho, breathe._

"Sure, Chan, anything," I managed to answer, while his deep stare made my knees weak. He was standing right in front of me and it was so hard to look into his eyes, especially when he smiled like that.

"I'm really intrigued by the tape we saw," he said, looking quickly back at Hyunjin, Felix and Jisung. "I'm afraid that by doing this we'll all be sent home, and I'll never get a chance to ask The Guardian about it."

I totally didn't want to leave now. Not when I was starting to lose all this fear that had made me turn Chan away. I did not want this to end, and never get to know him.

"Yeah, I know," was all I could say, my heart in my throat.

"But we promised," he said, to himself as well as to me. Yes, we promised, and I could tell he wasn't someone who didn't keep his word. Not knowing what else to say we turned back to the group.

Jisung was repeating the plan over and over to Felix and I had to laugh at the scene. One had so much energy and the other was just so mute, the juxtaposition of opposites. Then there was Hyunjin, looking for middle ground.

I had grown so fond of my companions, even Jisung, when he wasn't bullying everyone around. He was so excited with the idea of going home that it was contagious. Felix was hard to read, but had started talking more, even participating in the planning of this whole charade. I guess I understood his fears, perhaps he thought he could never deliver when his time came. So maybe it was better for him to go, even though he could have learned so much about himself in his dream, whichever form it took.

"It's time," Jisung said, after he had staked out the plan far too many times.

Felix got up from his chair and walked a little away from us. He looked back and Chan nodded, giving his support.

He took a deep breath and for a moment it appeared he was going to chicken out as he walked toward us. Jisung started to twitch his hands nervously again and got up, but Chan took his arm, trying to calm him down.

"Everything will be fine," Chan whispered to Felix, reassuring him. He lifted his face, looked back at him, and walked back to the middle of the room. Head high, resolved.

We were all waiting, until finally he spoke.

"Mr. Guardian?" he called, lightly at first.

Nothing happened.

"Um, Mr. Guardian?" he said, a little louder. Still nothing.

"Louder!" Jisung whisper-yelled and Felix started to dry his hands on his pants.

"Could The Guardian come, please?" Felix cried out again, a tone higher.

 _"Could The Guardian come, please?"_ Jisung mimicked from his chair. "We're never going to get anywhere like this!"

Chan shushed him and we all went back to waiting in silence.

"I would like to speak to The Guardian, please," Felix cried out again, even louder, but nothing happened.

We were starting to get restless when we heard rumbling noises coming from the sky where a big silver bathtub emerged with the curtain closed and steam seeping from above.

It slowly floated down to the ground and we could hear the already known out-of-tune voice of The Guardian coming from within. The bathtub bumped on the floor, but he kept on singing at the top of his lungs, unaware that anything out of the ordinary was happening.

"What do we do now?" Hyunjin whispered.

"Shout, Felix!" Jisung urged, getting up from his chair, jumping up and down and flapping his arms. "He needs to hear you!" He turned to the rest of the group, his hands in his hair.

"Let's get behind the bathtub so that he won't see us when he opens the curtain. We have to surprise him or we're toast."

We all tiptoed to the back while the singing continued. Felix started pacing up and down in front of the bathtub. God, I still didn't understand why I was going through this! I turned to Chan and he must have read my face because he mouthed, _"It'll be okay."_ When we were all hidden, Jisung signaled Felix to call The Guardian again. He took a deep breath, his hands trembling.

"Guardian!" Felix shouted at the top of his lungs. The Guardian finally stopped singing and popped his head from between the curtains.

"What?" he said, evidently annoyed, not at all surprised that he was in the middle of The Great White Room inside his bathtub, as if this sort of thing happened to him every day.

"Uh, um, I have a problem," Felix said, sticking to the script.

"I'm kind of busy right now, as you can see, call on me later," The Guardian said and disappeared into the bathtub again.

Felix looked over at us and Jisung desperately signaled him to keep trying.

"Guardian, please, it's urgent!" he called out, so convincing that he even surprised himself.

"What could be so urgent?" The Guardian asked, popping his head out again.

"I... I need for you to get out here to tell you," Felix said, trying hard to control his voice from trembling. "It's kind of private."

"Private?" The Guardian asked, shampoo still in his hair. "What could be more private than me taking a shower?"

"You know.... private," Felix replied, turning red, and looking at the floor. I wondered if he could keep lying any longer.

"Ohh," The Guardian said nodding. He went back inside, turned off the water, opened the curtain and got out wearing a silver towel around his waist. "So what can I do for you?" he asked very politely, standing on the floor in front of Felix.

Before Felix could answer, Hyunjin and Jisung jumped from where they were hiding and took The Guardian from behind.

"What you can do is get us out of here!" Jisung shouted, grabbing The Guardian's arms and pinning him to the floor. The Guardian looked back at Hyunjin and Jisung and then at Felix, understanding that this had been an ambush. He looked Felix straight in the eyes while he shook his head and hid behind Chan who had come over from behind the bathtub.

"Security!" The Guardian shouted, still staring at Felix. "Security!"

An alarm went off, and we heard the sound of footsteps approaching at a fast pace. Jisung and Hyunjin hesitated and let go of The Guardian, who got up still shouting for help. In the spur of the moment, Felix ran over to him and grabbed him by the neck, trying to cover his mouth to stop his screaming. He struggled for a moment, but Felix wouldn't let go. He kept asking him in a soft voice to be quiet, but he wouldn't stop squirming, so he put his arm around him tighter. And tighter.

"Felix, stop!" I shouted from my place behind the bathtub, but The Guardian's eyes turned white. It was too late.

The Guardian went limp and fell to the floor, unconscious. Everything happened too fast. We huddled around, all faces horrified.

Jisung got down to the floor and put his ear to The Guardian's chest. Felix was shaking uncontrollably. Hyunjin hugged him, trying to calm him down.

"Is he breathing?" I asked, my voice a pitch higher than usual.

"I didn't do anything, I swear," Felix said, trembling. "I wasn't choking him, honest."

Chan tried to look for a pulse when a group of police officers in blue and silver entered The Great White Room and grabbed Felix by the arms. Another man dressed in a doctor's uniform walked in and went straight to the body lying on the floor.

Chan got out of the way as the doctor kneeled beside The Guardian and took out a medical kit. Felix was watching fixated, his breathing accelerated, drops of sweat running down his forehead. After a minute of checking his vital signs, the doctor pulled off his stethoscope.

"He's gone," he said as he put a white sheet on top of him. All the police officers took off their hats. I turned to my companions knowing this was bad, _very_ bad.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating this for 200 years :////// but i hope u enjoy this chapter!

The Judge walked into the room, dressed in a long black robe and a big silver wig, looking grave. He walked straight to where Felix was being held under the grip of two police officers. Chan tried to reach him, but another stern-looking officer stopped him. Hyunjin and Jisung were also pinned down, while another policeman told me to put my arms behind my head. The Judge, who was shorter than Felix, looked up at him and got out a piece of parchment paper from which he started to read.

“Mr. Lee Felix, you have been charged with murder in the first degree and therefore will be tried by a jury of your peers. As stated in the laws of the High Justice Department of The Place of Dreams, you are not entitled to legal counsel and will therefore have to defend yourself.” He stopped reading and looked him straight in the eye. “Any questions?”

Felix looked over at where we were standing with a desperate look in his eyes.

“It’s his right to have someone defend him,” Chan stated and the whole room went quiet. All this time I had been afraid about our implication in this whole ordeal and now I felt ashamed of myself as Chan spoke up on behalf of the accused. The Judge looked straight at him and I felt the blood drain from my face.

“His right?” he asked menacingly. “He just killed a man,” he added pointing to the body lying on the floor.

“It was an accident! You weren’t here,” I added, Chan’s courage catching up with me.

“We were all in on this, weren’t we?” I looked over to Hyunjin and Jisung for support, but Hyunjin looked the other way, and Jisung lifted his arms in the air.

“I had absolutely nothing to do with this,” he said stone-faced.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jisung had been the complete mastermind behind this whole mess, and now he was washing his hands. I got so mad that I had a sudden urge to hit him, to scream at him that he was a coward and a bully, that this was all his fault.

But before I could do anything Chan took my hand and looked me straight in the eyes.

“We will not help Felix by getting ourselves in trouble, you understand?” I felt my breath starting to slow down and my fists unclench.

I knew he understood, from the look on my face, how disgusted I was with them. The compassion in Chan’s eyes made me soften. I nodded my assent. I’d keep my cool.

Before Chan could say anything else to me, The Judge turned to Felix and asked again.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No,” he answered, his head held high.

“They didn’t do anything, it was all me.”

“Let the trial begin,” The Judge said and the room changed again. Five of the police officers took the body of The Guardian away.

A wooden bench rose from the floor as did a series of rows of seats. People started to come in, and Felix’s clothes changed into a suit. The Judge sat down in his high seat while Felix was placed by the guards behind a table that had emerged opposite him. Beside him there was another table where a man dressed in a dark gray suit sat down and placed his silver portfolio. He was very tall and had a square jaw that underlined a big head. He did not smile; he was The Prosecutor.

The jury bench filled with three women and five men, all of whom we had never seen before, and all of whom had no pity on their faces. Besides them, there was a guard at the door, two guards at the back, and a court secretary seated to the right of The Judge. Everything looked like an ordinary courtroom, except for the fact that there were silver accents everywhere, from The Judge’s gavel, to the chairs and the officer’s uniforms.

Chan, Hyunjin, Jisung and I were seated in benches behind Felix. I couldn’t stand to look at the other two, so I took Chan by the arm and we seated ourselves in a bench before them. When I looked back at them, Jisung simply shrugged, but Hyunjin wouldn’t look me in the eye.

Felix glanced back to Chan and me several times, but didn’t say a word.

The Judge grabbed his gavel and pounded on the bench.

“The session is now in order. Mr. Lee how do you plead?”

Felix looked back at Chan and he mouthed, _“Not guilty.”_ So Felix turned and softly said to The Judge, “Not guilty.”

“Very well. First witness, please.”

“The prosecution calls for The Doctor,” The Prosecutor said standing up. The Judge may have been short and unthreatening, but this man hovered over Felix, almost twice his size in width and two heads taller. I felt so afraid for him.

A door to the left opened, and in walked The Doctor that had determined The Guardian’s death. He sat down at the witness stand and held his arm over his heart. The Prosecutor approached the bench.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you The Authority of The Place of Dreams?”

“Yes, I do.”

The Prosecutor started to pace the room and then stood next to Felix.

“Doctor, you were the person in charge of determining The Guardian’s death, correct?”

The Doctor got closer to the microphone in front of him and answered, “Yes.”

“Can you identify the person who was closest to the victim at the moment you arrived at the scene?”

The doctor nodded and pointed to Felix.

“I will state for the record that The Doctor has pointed to Mr. Lee Felix,” The Prosecutor stated.

The court reporter, in a lilac suit and silver pumps, was writing everything down without looking at her notes.

“Doctor, could you please state the cause of death?” The Prosecutor continued, not even looking once at Felix, who just sat there, seemingly scared to death of this man and this place and this trial.

“An autopsy revealed that the cause of death was severe trauma to the head.”

“Autopsy?” Chan whispered at me as I started to feel edgier with every passing second.

“Severe, you say?” The Prosecutor emphasized.

“Yes. It was due to a strong blow to the head followed by a fall.”

Felix looked like he wanted to say something but kept quiet.

“Strong blow?”

“Yes, like one provided by some kind of pointy object.”

Chan got up from his seat not being able to control himself. “There was no such thing,” he shouted, and I could see he regretted it that very second. Everyone turned to look at him as The Judge hammered down. Some of the jurors started to whisper amongst themselves and the guards at the door took a step towards Chan and me. This time I was the one holding his hand, or rather squeezing it, hard.

“This is the second time you’ve spoken out of place, sir. Next time there will not be a warning,” The Judge said, gesturing to the guards that everything was under control.

“He needs our support in here,” I told him in a quiet voice. He nodded and we sat down. I tried to let go of his hand, but he didn’t let me. I was so afraid and confused and overwhelmed that I just let him.

“Continue,” The Judge said.

“So then The Guardian’s death could not have been accidental?” The Prosecutor continued.

“No. It could not.”

I felt Chan’s breathing quicken and I could tell he was agitated again. I squeezed his hand even harder, reminding him why we were here.

Hyunjin suddenly appeared next to us on the bench, no words needed to show his remorse. Jisung just watched us, amused.

“Glad you’re here,” Chan whispered to Hyunjin, and the three of us sat there, helpless.

The Prosecutor looked over at Felix for the first time and said that he had no more questions. The Judge turned to Felix.

“It is time for the defense.”

Felix turned again to look at us for support, but turned back to the Judge.

“I have nothing to add,” he said in a soft, low voice.

“So be it,” The Judge said, signaling The Prosecutor to continue.

“The prosecution calls for Han Jisung,” The Prosecutor stated.

Jisung raised his eyebrows and slowly got up. He walked up to the bench, trying not to look over at Felix. Hyunjin’s mouth dropped while Chan turned to the floor. I knew what he was thinking; Jisung would pin everything on Felix.

Under the instructions of The Prosecutor, Jisung put his hand over his heart and promised to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“So, Mr. Han, you were the one who made the plan to trap The Guardian?”

“How did you…?” he started and then regained himself. “It was a group plan.”

“But you were the mastermind behind everything, correct?”

“Um, no, I’m generally not the leader of the group.”

The Prosecutor walked around, his hands behind his back. Jisung dried his sweaty palms on his pants.

“Whose idea was it then that The Defendant would be the person in charge of getting The Guardian to appear in the room?”

“It was his own idea,” Jisung answered without a doubt.

“Not true! Jisung, not true!” came a shout, this time from Hyunjin.

The Judge again hammered furiously. “I thought I made it clear that you are to be quiet or leave the room.”

The Prosecutor looked over at us sitting in the benches and then back to his witness on the stand.

“Mr. Han, was the Guardian’s death intentional?”

“I... I don’t think so, the plan was only to scare him a little bit so—”

“You don’t think so? So you are not sure of Mr. Lee’s real intentions?”

“I did not say that.”

“You do not know for sure that he did not have the intention to kill The Guardian?”

“Um…” Jisung started messing up his hair with his fingers, hands twitching as they did when he got nervous.

“Thank you, Mr. Han. That is all.”

The trial went over to the defense’s side, and Jisung concentrated hard on not looking at Felix. I realized at that moment that he was everything I wished I wasn’t.

Always putting other people down to feel better about himself. Not taking responsibility for his actions. Looking for the easy way out, no matter who it hurt. It was so low. We were waiting for Felix to speak up and get the truth out of Jisung, but again he didn’t say anything.

“Mr. Prosecutor, proceed,” The Judge said.

“The prosecution calls Lee Felix.”

Someone let out a gasp, and I wasn’t even sure if it had been me. You could hear a pin drop as we sat expectantly waiting for him to get up. Since he wasn’t leaving his seat, The Judge asked him to walk to the stand and I could see his hunched shoulders as he took a deep breath, brushed his hair away from his forehead, and walked very slowly, hands shaking as he sat down looking at everything and nothing at the same time. The Prosecutor smiled, ready to make the kill.

“Mr. Lee, do you know why you are here?”

“Yes.”

“You are aware that you are being charged for the intentional murder of The Guardian of The Land of Dreams?”

“Yes.”

“So, it was your intention on the given day at oh-nine-hundred and two hours to take the life of the man whose sole purpose was to help you make your dreams come true?”

Felix fixed his gaze on the man in front of him, but took a moment to answer.

“No,” he said, soft but firm.

“No, what?”

“No, it was not my intention. I didn’t mean to harm anyone.”

We were on the edge of our seats as The Prosecutor paced in front of Felix. Even Jisung seemed worried, scratching his head in his nervous tic.

“Aha!” The Prosecutor said. “You do acknowledge that you killed him?”

“No.”

“But you did grab The Guardian at the neck?”

“Yes.”

“To choke him?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“To get him to stop shouting,” Felix said, still in a soft tone. The calmness in his demeanor was making everyone else anxious. I could see regret in his dark eyes, this never should have happened.

“You wanted to shut him up so you killed him.”

“No.”

“No, what, Mr. Lee? It would be easier if you admitted your guilt and this would be over with.”

Felix shook his head, his eyes still on The Prosecutor.

“What? Mr. Lee? Why do you shake your head?”

Felix started talking under his breath, still shaking his head.

“Mr. Lee!” he shouted. “Did you or did you not intend to kill The Guardian?”

“No! I have said this before!” he answered, raising his voice a little.

“No, what, Mr. Lee? Why should I believe you? All you have said here are lies! Lies that nobody believes!”

Then, it was as if something snapped inside. Felix stopped shaking his head, and the look in his eyes changed. He raised his head and shook away the hair from his forehead.

“I never lie. I have told you the truth! It was an accident, a terrible and unfortunate accident.”

The only sound in the room was the echo of Felix’s voice. It was as if I was seeing a boy I had just met. Firm, strong, assertive.

“You’re guilty!” The Prosecutor shouted even louder, pointing his finger at Felix’s face.

Felix stood up.

“I am not guilty! All of my life people have told me what to do, who I am! Nothing gives you the right to say that I lie, and I will not admit to a crime I did not commit! What happened to The Guardian was a tragedy, a mistake I will have to live with. But you cannot call me a murderer!” He stopped for a second. “I am not guilty.”

While he was shouting, The Judge looked dumbfounded, but The Prosecutor was smiling.

Felix sat down and I waited for someone to come and arrest him, but nothing happened. So he just sat there while The Prosecutor kept smiling at him.

“What’s going on?” Felix asked in a softer, fearful voice.

The Prosecutor turned to look at The Judge, who nodded his head in mutual understanding.

“You’re free to go,” The Judge said from his bench, getting up and taking his hand to help him step down from the stand.

“I don’t understand...”

Everyone in the room had gotten up and seemed happy, all except Felix, Chan, Hyunjin, Jisung and I who had no clue to what was going on.

“But, The Guardian?” Felix asked, awestruck by the sudden turn of events.

As they walked past us, Chan waved and I understood he was saying goodbye.

“You said so yourself. You’re innocent and very, very strong,” The Prosecutor said as he and The Judge accompanied Felix to the doors.

“Strong? Me?” Felix asked, turning to look at us. Chan and I waved to him one last time.

Suddenly everything turned black and we couldn’t see anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to all my silent readers! as i'm often a silent reader myself; i love u lol

One, two, three, four... this was the first time I felt relieved to know someone had gone. Five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half... In the darkness I felt Chan softly let go of my hand. He had been holding it through most of the ordeal. This time he let go first, and I wished he hadn’t.

As always, we were in the same position we had last been, but the bench wasn’t there anymore. Jisung and Hyunjin were seated in their own chairs while Chan and I stood looking at the big, empty room.

Three down, four to go.

Chan started pacing with a big smile on his face.

“This place keeps amazing me,” he said, “everything was planned: the trapdoor on the floor, the home movie, Jisung making us all believe we could leave….. everything.”

“Hey!” Jisung said. “I didn’t arrange anything with this stupid place. How could that have been planned?”

We didn’t know how to answer that, because in some way he had been a big part of Felix’s dream.

“Everything was a lie?” Hyunjin asked as if he hadn’t heard Jisung’s point. “Even the dreamer on the tape?”

Again, nobody answered.

“What about The Guardian? Was that fake too?” Jisung asked, getting angrier by the minute. He seemed miserable, and I couldn’t make out if it was because his plan hadn’t worked or because he had been so horrible to Felix.

Before anyone could answer, the sound of heavenly music made us turn to see The Guardian entering the room on a silver boat, wearing a white, airy robe with silver trim.

Two platinum blondes were pushing the faux boat while another came behind them with a machine that pumped white smoke onto the floor. The Guardian had his arms up, a celestial look on his face. I smiled when I saw him, all of his strange persona in white. Of course this had been planned. I felt relieved.

He was a peculiar figure, but he was lovable, in a weird, eccentric way.

“He lives!” The Guardian cried. “He lives!”

For about a minute he stood there with his arms open, looking up at the sky, so I turned to look at the horizon, but he was staring at nothing in particular.

“I’m waiting,” he said finally, holding his pose.

Hyunjin looked over at Chan and started to clap. The Guardian grinned, so we caught on to his intention. God, this man loved the applause. We even made a standing ovation, well, all of us except Jisung who just sat in his chair, glum as ever. When we finished, the Guardian got off the boat, and the girls took it out along with the smoke machine.

“How was my performance?” he asked as he again dropped to the floor pretending to be dead.

“It was very realistic,” Hyunjin answered, being his honest, innocent self.

“Yeah, bravo,” Jisung said, sour.

“Yes, bravo,” The Guardian said, standing up, taking no notice of the sarcasm in Jisung’s tone. “It was one of my best, even if I do say so myself.” He turned to Jisung. “You really thought I was dead, you were so terrified that you didn’t care—”

“You’re wrong,” Jisung interrupted, enraged. “I wasn’t terrified. Thinking you were gone made me very happy. Now I’m not so much.”

“Oh, don’t get mad, Jisung. There are only four of you left so you’ll probably be going home soon.”

“That’s not a relief!” he replied, getting angrier by the second. “Things keep getting worse. I mean, Felix? I wouldn’t like to go out like that.”

“Especially since you totally betrayed him,” Chan said softly, but loud enough for Jisung to hear. Jisung stood back but made no reply.

“What’s done is done,” The Guardian said, getting serious for a moment, sitting beside us in a chair that had materialized instantly.

It felt strange to see him there with us, like he was one of the group.

When Jisung started again with the _get-me-out-of-here_ thing, I took a moment to watch my companions and remember the three friends that had already gone. I began to understand how much I had learned about them through their dreams.

Seungmin battled soldiers and his fears along with them. Changbin found compassion from a stranger, and self-acceptance. Felix stood up for himself for the first time. What would I find out about myself? What would I learn of Hyunjin, Jisung and Chan? Would I get the chance, or would I be next? I couldn’t understand why Jisung wanted to leave so desperately, when all I wanted to do was stay.

“So what happened to Felix? In the real world?” Chan asked, catching my gaze out of the corner of his eyes.

“You really want to know?” The Guardian asked. We nodded as a big screen came up from the floor in front of him, and the lights went out. The Guardian’s chair transformed into a cinema style seat, and he started to eat a big bag of popcorn that came along with it.

Hyunjin, who was sitting beside him, paid more attention to his munching than to the video in front of us.

On the tape we saw Felix wearing khaki pants, a white shirt and a bandana over his forehead. For once he had her hair back, and we could see his complete features.

He looked sweaty and tired, but pretty and happy. He was joined by a woman in a much cleaner outfit, who had a microphone in her hand, a reporter. They were walking through some kind of refugee camp.

“So, Felix, could you tell us about your labor here in Africa?”

“Well, we are an organization that strives to educate underprivileged women. We try to break the cycle of violence by promoting a healthy family life. We want them to feel empowered and free to make better lives for themselves and others.”

A small girl came running up to him, and Felix took her in his arms, a satisfied look on his face. I felt so proud of him, but I missed him at the same time. He may have not said very much, but his presence gave me a certain peace. Now I was alone with these boys.

The lights came back on, and the big screen faded away. The Guardian swung his cinema chair to look at us, a huge smile on his face.

“See what my excellent performance led to?”

“It wasn’t _that_ good,” Jisung said. The Guardian stopped smiling, snapped his fingers and we heard a pop, but nothing happened. Jisung kept looking smugly at The Guardian who winked suspiciously at him.

“So, does anyone have a question for me?” The Guardian asked and Jisung opened his mouth to speak but no sound came from him. He put his hands to his throat then made obscene gestures to The Guardian who just kept looking at him, the biggest smirk on his face.

“Jisung? Anything?” he asked again, taunting him.

Jisung kept trying to say something, but his voice was completely gone. The Guardian was so enjoying this that it even made me have to control myself from laughing.

I realized that I did have a very important question. “Um, Guardian, is there a bathroom here?” I asked, ignoring Jisung’s attempts to speak.

“Why certainly,” The Guardian said. “It has always been here.” He indicated a door that read “Men.” I knew that it hadn’t been there before, but it didn’t matter. Without another word I went inside.

The powder room had high-end marble in white tones and silver-plated faucets. There were fresh lilies in a vase, which I loved. It felt strange to be alone for a moment, and I took my time to see my face in the mirror. Same features, original hair, but I felt so different, like someone else staring back at me. I washed my face and let the water drip, reveling in the feeling of normalcy that would end the moment I walked outside the door.

“Um, sir, Mr. Guardian, is there any food?” Hyunjin asked the minute I returned to my now familiar weirdness.

“Sure, you just have to ask.”

Hyunjin looked at the sky. “I wish for a double cheeseburger with big fries and a soda, and please hold the pickles. No, no, better yet, I wish for the best plate of food this place can give me.”

A one-person table showed up in front of him and a waiter entered with a silver tray.

Hyunjin sat down excitedly, placing a cloth napkin around his neck. The waiter lifted the cover, and revealed a plate of grilled fish and steamed vegetables.

“What?” he said, his face showing his growing disappointment. “This isn’t what I asked for.”

“You asked for the best food, and that’s what you got,” The Guardian said, very seriously.

“Anyone else?” he asked as Hyunjin started to take small bites of his very healthy meal.

I turned to Chan and noticed he was deep in thought. I could swear he opened his mouth to say something, but then again said nothing.

The Guardian turned to Jisung who had given up trying to speak. “Are you sure Jisung, no questions?”

Jisung started signaling desperately to the sky and to the ground. The Guardian acted as though he couldn’t understand a thing.

“Oh, no more questions? I’ll be off then.”

And so he left the room flying like an angel, with Jisung still gesturing belligerent remarks at his back. The moment The Guardian dissolved into nothing, Jisung’s voice returned.

“Keep going, you coward!” he yelled after him, stunned at being able to hear his own voice. “Oh, it’s back,” he said, touching his throat. “Felix should’ve choked you for real!”

“You don’t mean that.” Chan said gravely. “You should never desire bad things for others: they just come back to you.”

 _Karma,_ I thought. Jisung looked at Chan and rolled his eyes. Chan shook his head and raised his eyebrows at me, but said nothing more. I also believed that what you give is what you get, and it made me remember, well, it wasn’t worth the recollection. So I shook off the thought and sat down next to Chan, my Chan. I wished for a moment that Jisung and Hyunjin could disappear along with The Guardian.

Hyunjin finished his supper and joined us. He sat down next to Jisung who was sulky as always. “Jisung, can I ask you something?” Hyunjin asked, in his calm and tender voice.

“No.”

Hyunjin took that as a yes and continued.

“I wanted to know why you feel so miserable here. I just finished a plate of fish instead of a mouthwatering hamburger, but it was delicious and I never would have tried it otherwise!”

Jisung took his time before answering.

“Well, it’s like this Skinny, I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen. I hate surprises, and this place just keeps popping up in my face.” He straightened his hair, or at least tried to. “The thing is, I don’t think I need to be here.”

I thought of a million responses to that, but had learned the hard way that there were people who simply didn’t want to listen. The more you tried to help, the more reluctant they became. After the short or long time we had been here, I understood that Jisung thought that whatever he was, he was fine. People who don’t believe they need to grow, in any and every way, tend to resist change. And again Chan was looking at me.

So no one spoke.

“Someone say something,” Jisung cried out after a minute of uncomfortable silence. “I’m really getting bored. God, this is exasperating.” He stopped for a moment and looked around. “It’s driving me crazy, all this white nothing. It’s like a mad house.”

“Maybe we could try to figure out what our dreams will be,” Hyunjin said, suddenly inspired.

“By remembering something important from our past.”

That was not a bad idea and we all said so, even though I had my reservations. I suggested that we all put our chairs in a circle so that we could face each other, like they do in those group meetings you see on TV. Since it had been Hyunjin’s idea, we agreed that he should be the one to go first.

“Well,” he started, very slowly, “the day that I turned 10 years old nobody remembered that it was my birthday. My mom didn’t give me a hug in the morning, and my dad took me to school without saying a word. I even asked him what day it was to see if it would ring a bell, but no, nothing. I got to my classroom and the teacher didn’t have a surprise for me.

I wasn’t a special kid like everybody else had been. I was really confused. I even took out a calendar to check if I had mistaken the day, but no, I was right. When I started sulking in class because nobody had remembered, I got extra homework. I was really, really disappointed and hurt. Then one of the girls from my class gave another classmate, who had nothing exceptional that day, a big chocolate bar. I somehow knew this gift was meant for me. She had made a mistake, everyone had made a mistake. I was still coveting the candy bar as the owner left it on the edge of his desk when the bell rang for recess. So, in the middle of the confusion of kids getting up from their seats and putting away their books, I took the bar in my hand and headed for the door. I thought I was home free, but then a girl saw me and shouted _‘He’s stealing your chocolate!’_ Everyone stopped and looked at me in total silence. The boy whom I had stolen the chocolate from walked up to me and said, _‘Give it here, Fatty.’_ But I couldn’t give it away, it was mine! Everyone in my class started to chant _‘Fatty Jinnie’_ all around me, until I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I ran out of there, dropping the candy along the way. I hid the rest of the day in the bathroom, got detention, and was grounded for a week. My parents didn’t even realize they had forgotten my birthday until I had passed a whole week without watching TV.”

He stopped for a moment and looked at the others. “The truth is, I only wanted someone to acknowledge me.”

He kept quiet for a moment, and Jisung had a somber face, assuming this had made Hyunjin lose a lot of weight. “I’m sorry, but your story isn’t going to keep me from calling you Skinny. But just so you know, I say it with love,” Jisung said to Hyunjin, who just shrugged.

Hyunjin turned to Chan, making it understood that it was his turn. I felt a chill run through my spine, and my heart fell to my toes. It was so hard not getting excited over anything that had to do with this beautiful man, and an insight into his soul was even more arousing.

His brown eyes shone a deeper tone as he searched his memories. I knew so little of him I couldn’t wait for him to start.

“When I was a boy I lived alone with my mom. I’m an only child and my dad left when I was ten. My mother was everything I had. Since she had to work full time, I started practicing baseball at school, so I wouldn’t be alone in the afternoons. As it turned out, I was pretty good at it, always the starting pitcher. The only sad thing about these games was that my mom could never attend because she was always at work. She couldn’t afford to take leave in the afternoons for the games. Coincidentally, one of the playoffs fell on the day of my birthday, so as a surprise she showed up on the field to watch me play. I really wanted to do my best so that she could see that all her effort wasn’t in vain. But that day we had a substitute coach, the father of our second-string pitcher. So, while my mother was anxiously waiting in the stands, I sat on the bench the whole game and watched my team win without me. I felt so embarrassed and so guilty that she had made such an effort to see me for nothing. The day after that I quit the team. I knew that I was good, I was very good, but I couldn’t be on that field anymore. I had completely lost my love for the game.”

Chan stopped for a moment to look at us, and I felt an urge to take his hand, to give him a tight hug, but Hyunjin was between us. I also didn’t want to, I _couldn’t_.

“Sometimes I wish I had walked up to the coach and said something. Sometimes I wish that I hadn’t given up,” he finished. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. I wanted to ask Chan if he had pretended that he didn’t care, if he had acted as if nothing had happened, had it broken his heart? It is said that the things hurt even more when you pretend they don’t. Did that happen to you, Chan? My eyes caught his. He smiled, and I just melted in my seat.

Then it was Jisung’s turn.

He sat back on his roll around chair and cracked his knuckles.

“I had always been one of the tallest in the class, I did very well in school and nobody messed with me. It might be hard for you to believe that I was even the teacher’s pet. Everything was fine. Until she came along, the new girl.

She seemed harmless at first, she was tall like me, big and ugly. At first we all opened up to her since she was new. But it was clear from the beginning that there was no fooling around with this little monster who hid behind the _‘I’m the vulnerable, sweet type.’_

She didn’t like me at all, I still don’t know why. So, from day one she made it clear that she was going to make my life a living hell. First, it was the gossip about me, lies about the kind of underwear I wore and the food I ate, all humiliating lies and exaggerations. When I finally got mad about it and told the teacher, she made it even more personal.

She was bigger than me, and stronger. I have always been sort of scrawny, and one day she found me behind the restrooms and beat the hell out of me. Since she was a girl, I couldn’t say anything. It was extremely embarrassing. So I sucked it up and tried to avoid her. I started losing my friends because nobody wanted to be on her bad side. It was true hell. Until one day I hid a baseball bat I had just received for my birthday behind the restrooms, and waited for her to come and find me. There she was, ready for another beating, but I was ready for her.

Before she could even touch me, I took that bat and hit her straight between the eyes. She never knew what was coming. Her skull made a dry, horrible sound as she fell, hard. I thought I’d killed her. I had never been more afraid of anything in my whole life. I ran to my teacher, who called an ambulance, and they took her off to the hospital where she had to stay for three weeks. She almost lost her sight. I felt so guilty and ashamed, but the worst part was that nobody believed she had terrorized me for all that time. Everyone, including my parents, made me the villain. They made me the bully, the bad guy. Sometimes I wish I had told someone before the bat incident, but they wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”

He sat there with a blank expression on his face and we were dumbfounded. Hyunjin’s eyes watered.

“Stop looking at me like that, Skinny. It was a long time ago. I don’t even know why I told you this story, it was just the first thing that came to mind.”

So there it was. For the little I knew of Jisung, I was sure that he was regretting being open about this very intimate part of his childhood.

“You know what’s funny about all this,” Chan said, bringing the attention away from Jisung, “from what I could tell, these stories all happened on our birthdays.”

“Yes, it was the day I turned ten,” Jisung said.

“I turned 11,” Chan said, “on...”

“ _March third_ ,” he said, in unison with Hyunjin and Jisung.

March third was my birthday too, and something had happened to me as well. But I couldn’t speak. I felt a shadow fall over me, and I was doing my best not to show the unexpected pain that surged through my veins. People tend to value more the memories than the people in them, but March third was much more than a simple remembrance. I felt tears welling up, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to utter a word.

“So what happened to you on your birthday?” Hyunjin formed the dreaded question, and I shook my head. I shrugged, unable to speak for fear of bawling.

“He doesn’t need to talk about it,” Chan said rapidly, as if he knew that I wouldn’t be able to speak. I tried to recover whatever was left of me. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half.

“No, it’s fine,” I said at last still fighting the big knot in the back of my throat. “But there’s nothing to tell.”

Chan knew I was lying, I could tell, but he seemed to understand, somehow.

“Are you sure?” Hyunjin insisted innocently. “It is your birthday, right?”

“Yes, it is,” I answered sharply.

“He said nothing happened to him, Hyunjin,” Chan added, and I was so relieved.

Hyunjin turned to Chan. “Chan, this happened when you were eleven? What about when you turned ten?”

Chan looked straight into my eyes, and I could swear he wanted to tell me something.

“The day I turned ten I accompanied my father to something very important to him,” he said, without any details. “It was a very interesting day too.”

 _Then he abandoned you,_ I thought.

They started to talk about us all being Pisces, and I relaxed. My chest felt heavy and I had to concentrate extremely hard not to dwell in the past. I tried to seem interested in the subject of our astrological characteristics, but my heart was somewhere else. Chan kept eyeing me, but this time he seemed genuinely concerned. Was I wearing such a long face?

I thought I had mastered the art of smiling through the pain.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence,” Chan said. “I think we were all chosen specifically because of our birth date. I believe that Seungmin, Changbin and Felix were also born on the same day.”

Slowly I became interested in the subject, mind over heart. _Breathe, Minho, breathe._ I even felt my face soften, as I recovered the pieces of me.

“It’s hard for me to believe that I can be anything more than what I am,” Hyunjin said, returning to the subject of the dreams. He was so transparent that I remembered why I had liked him from the start.

“You’re not going to be something special,” Jisung said with his usual rudeness.

“All the rest of the people who were here went on to be great,” Hyunjin insisted. “Why shouldn’t we?”

Nobody knew how to answer, so we sat there in our four chairs, waiting for something to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felix really said female rights but wbk
> 
> lmao did i just throw the biggest plottwist at u ever??? i think i did oof
> 
> anyways i hope u enjoyed this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm back again. just wanted to let you know that i don't think this story is gonna be a long one. i don't exactly have everything written yet but i think it's ending soon lol.... but yeah we'll see haha. hope u enjoy this chapter tho!

The silence was unbearable. So when a whole lot of noise, and people, and loudspeakers started to appear, we almost welcomed it. We were abruptly taken out of our seats by a couple of girls that looked like assistants of some kind. At first I thought they were talking to themselves, but then understood they were all communicating through hands-free radios. They didn’t even look at us; they only took away our chairs and buzzed off, too busy to tell us what was going on.

The whole place was vibrant with movement. Some people were moving scenery from one side to the other, others were arranging cameras and lighting equipment, while trailers appeared in the background. The floor turned to cement, it felt hot. The air was dense and dry. And there we were standing in the middle of madness, not sure what to make of it. Chan looked gorgeous in the sun’s light. He even looked like he belonged here.

Could this be his dream? Would he be leaving next?

“This looks like some sort of movie set,” I told Chan, who was being pushed aside by a group of kids with cameras flashing. “I’ve never been to Hollywood, but this is what I believe it would look like.”

“I guess you’re right,” he said and a look of excitement crossed his face. I wanted to tell him that I wanted to know him better, that I usually close up when I meet new people, that I didn’t mean to let go of his hand. I really wanted to ask him not to leave yet, but I just smiled as we looked for Jisung and Hyunjin who had been separated from us in the middle of all the commotion.

Jisung was poking around while Hyunjin was being swarmed by men in black carrying fake trees, uncomfortable in the middle of this sea of people.

“They’re making a movie!” Jisung exclaimed, looking really excited and putting his hands on his head. “I can’t believe this. I’m going to be a movie star!”

Chan and I turned to look at each other, and I felt a sort of relief that maybe this was Jisung’s dream and not Chan’s.

“We don’t know that Jisung,” Chan started.

But Jisung was not listening to him. He was busy looking at himself in the actor’s mirrors, attempting the impossible task of arranging his hair.

Everything fell silent as a short, bald man with dark sunglasses arrived. Every person in the room stopped what they were doing and even appeared to stop breathing. They all just turned to this figure who had stormed into the room.

“I think that’s The Director,” Chan whispered as he stood still as stone next to me. Before I could answer, we learned that indeed he was.

“Where’s Dave?” The Director shouted and the crew started getting nervous, running even faster from one place to another. But nobody answered. “I said, where is Dave?”

Everyone just kept staring at him in silence, not knowing what to say until a small, thin guy went shyly up to him and whispered something in his ear. “Really?” The Director asked in a softer voice and then shouted;

“Where’s Daniel? Where the hell is Daniel?”

Again, nobody answered, and there was an uncomfortable silence as everyone looked around, waiting for someone named Daniel to show up. The short, bald director started to get impatient and threw the papers he had in his hands to the floor. Everyone shuddered, and I was scared for what awaited this so-called Daniel.

Then, the door of the biggest and brightest of the trailers was flung open and a tall, broad-shouldered young man came out. His perfect hair was blow-dried, and his orange skin had an unnatural glow to it, as if he had just come out of a tanning bed. He was wearing a tight shirt that showed off his pecs and arms, as well as dark aviator glasses. I assumed this was Daniel, as he walked calm and cool over to The Director, almost in slow motion, shining his abnormally white teeth to all the girls around.

“You called?” he asked in a pompous tone.

The Director took off his dark glasses and looked him up and down.

“You? You’re Daniel?”

The young actor frowned and answered that he was, his big confident smile fading ever so slightly. The Director started pacing up and down, scratching his head. Then he asked Daniel to stand straight, do jumping jacks, and sing a few notes. The actor looked confused and embarrassed, but still did as he was told, always under the stern gaze of The Director, who didn’t smile or flinch.

When The Director asked Daniel to stand on his head, Jisung laughed and Chan and I had to contain ourselves because everyone else had looked back at us, telling us to be quiet.

Hyunjin was awestruck and barely even blinked.

“No,” The Director finally said, “you’re no good.” He stopped pacing and shouted, “who did the casting for this role?” The skinny guy who had approached him before, who I guessed was his assistant, again said something in his ear. “Really? I did? I mean, I did. Well, I’m sorry, Dave.”

“Daniel.”

“Whatever. I can’t use you. We need a new actor! Casting call!”

All around us people started to move, and not in an orderly manner. Meanwhile, The Director was shouting at everyone that walked near him and demanded a coffee that he assured he had ordered an hour ago. The four of us were being pushed around in the chaos, so Jisung took us to a corner.

“This is it, guys! This is my dream. They need an actor. And who better than me to play the role? I love this place! I really, really, love this place.” He jumped up and down in excitement. “Guardian, if you can hear me, two thumbs up!”

Hyunjin, Chan and I didn’t seem to share his enthusiasm. All the dreams that had come before this had been challenging, if not to say scary. Moreover, no one had ever suspected it was theirs. Then again, it was better for him to be excited over something than moping about everything else. I was also afraid that The Director would lay his eyes on Chan and his extremely good looks.

“Jisung, you don’t even know what the role is,” Chan said. “And, have you ever acted before in your life?”

“That doesn’t matter! Seungmin didn’t know how to fight soldiers and yet he did. I’ll instinctively be a good actor. That’s how this place works, right?”

I wanted to tell Jisung that the dream didn’t necessarily mean that he would get the role.

But I knew that he wouldn’t listen to me, so I just played along. Chan looked at me and shrugged, and all I could think about was having at least a quick moment with him alone. Maybe then he would be interested in me again, since I hadn’t felt his eyes on me since we were telling stories about our past.

What had I done wrong? _Everything_.

“I don’t know, Jisung,” Hyunjin started. “The Director scares me. He doesn’t seem friendly at all, I really wouldn’t want to be in that Daniel guy’s shoes.”

“That’s how they all are,” Jisung replied, “you know, they seem really tough, but you can do whatever you want with them. I’ve seen how they work. I know I won’t have any problem with him. Trust me.”

Jisung turned away from us and walked straight to The Director who was sitting in his black chair, coffee in one hand and megaphone in the other. We reluctantly followed, merely for moral support.

When The Director didn’t even turn to look at him, Jisung cleared his throat. The Director shouted some more orders, not paying any attention. So Jisung cleared his throat again, this time much louder, almost choking in the process and going into a coughing fit. The Director turned around, disgusted.

“Please, don’t get your germs all over me.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Jisung said once he regained control over himself. “I wanted to introduce myself to you. My name is Han Jisung and I’m an actor.”

The Director pushed down his glasses with his index finger and just glanced at him.

“No, you are not.”

Jisung looked taken aback and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted.

“You’re scrawny, too tall, have bad hair, and look like you have the IQ of an ant.”

Hyunjin, Chan, and I made a great effort not to laugh, since Jisung’s face fell to the floor as he stood there, not knowing what to say.

“I can work out,” he blurted out, finally, in a small voice that was far from the smart guy demeanor that had come to characterize him.

The Director didn’t answer, he simply pushed his glasses back into place and turned his back to Jisung.

“Please,” Jisung said, building up his courage, “at least let me read a small part. I promise you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

“How do you know what I’m looking for?” The Director asked, turning back to Jisung again, visibly not amused.

“Well, ah, I suppose that a smart man like you would appreciate raw talent and determination.”

The Director just kept staring at him, not impressed, but after a moment said, “If I let you read a few lines, will you leave me alone?”

“Yes, sir, definitely, yes.”

The Director’s assistant gave Jisung a script and they waited while he flipped through the pages, unsure of what to do. Everybody was looking at him, anxious for him to start.

Jisung started to get even more agitated, sweat dropping from his brow, hands shaking. So, as always, Chan jumped in to help.

“Could he rehearse for a moment?” he asked, and Jisung let out a big sigh.

The Director looked over at his skinny assistant who nodded and told us that we had five minutes to get ready. He stalked off to his trailer, then slammed the door in the assistant’s face, who simply brushed off his shirt and resumed his duties.

“Wow,” Roy said, visibly trembling from head to toe. “I didn’t know I would get this shaken. I don’t even know for which character I’m reading. I forgot to ask.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chan said, “you have five minutes to do this, so start practicing.”

“What’s the name of the movie, by the way?” I asked, looking over Jisung’s shoulder at the screenplay. “The Adventures of Tommy Tom,” I read. It didn’t seem too promising, but I didn’t say that out loud.

“Ok, ok...” Jisung said, “I guess the main character is Tommy Tom. So I’ll read that part and you, Skinny, read the other one, uh, the one named Mike.”

“Me? I don’t want to read in front of that man,” he said pointing at The Director’s trailer, “he’s so mean, I don’t think I can—”

“Oh, come on, Skinny. We don’t have much time!”

“I’ll read it,” Chan said, but Jisung started to shake his head in response.

“No, no, no, you can’t read with me, Chan. You’re too pretty, and I want somebody who won’t make me look bad,” he said, then added, “no offense, Skinny.”

Hyunjin just sighed deeply and took a copy of the script from Jisung. He was about to start reading when The Director came out of his trailer and again started shouting at everyone in sight. Hyunjin immediately changed his mind about reading and gave the script back to Jisung.

“Hyunjin, please, just close your eyes and imagine that you’re in your bathroom in front of the mirror,” Jisung pleaded.

“The mirror doesn’t shout like that..” Hyunjin stopped mid-sentence. “Hey, did you just call me Hyunjin?”

Jisung was about to answer when he was interrupted by a loud cry.

“You!” The Director called, signaling to Jisung. “Come, read, now!”

Jisung started babbling as he walked around in circles messing up his hair more than it already was. He took Hyunjin by the arm and led him over to where The Director was sitting in his chair. The cameras were all in place, and several other staff members were behind him, papers in hand, lights, and only action waiting to happen. The silence was unnatural. Hyunjin was trying to hide behind Jisung, but was failing miserably. Jisung was trying to grab Hyunjin so that he would stand next to him, but couldn’t quite grab him.

I felt so bad for Hyunjin having to go through this and was waiting for disaster to happen. Was this really Jisung’s dream? To be humiliated in front of all these people? Chan and I were standing there expecting screamsand hollers, but I noticed that The Director seemed interested in something.

“Hey, you!” he shouted, making Jisung straighten up while Hyunjin covered his ears.

“Yes, sorry,” Jisung said, kicking Hyunjin behind him. “I’m just trying to get my friend here to help me read—”

“I wasn’t talking to you, the other guy,” The Director interrupted while Jisung just stood there bewildered as he was ushered out of the way by one of the assistants. The Director took a good look at Hyunjin.

“Me?” Hyunjin said surprised, waiting to be yelled at.

“Yes, you, what’s your name?”

“This is Skinny,” Jisung said, getting back in front of Hyunjin, script in hand. “He’s not important. I can start without him.” He cleared his throat ready to start reading.

“I was not talking to you, mophead.”

“But—”

“Why are you still talking?” The Director interrupted and again turned to Hyunjin who was just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. “I asked your name.”

“I’m Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin,” he answered in a small voice.

The Director got up from his chair and walked straight to Hyunjin who was still hunched and ungraceful. But Jisung was not giving up so easy.

“Sir, uh, Mr. Director,” he said again, getting in front him, “you said that I could read for you...”

The Director simply pushed him out of the way and again addressed Hyunjin.

“Hyunjin, would you like to read for me?”

“Me?” he asked looking around to see if he was talking to someone else. “But it’s my friend who you want. I can’t. I don’t know how.”

“You see,” Jisung said, jumping at the chance. “He said so himself, he doesn’t want this, but I do.”

“Would someone please take this person away from me?” The Director asked, and a swarm of assistants approached to carry Jisung away.

“That won’t be necessary,” Chan said, stepping in and taking Jisung away from the angry mob. Jisung had a look of utter disappointment displayed on his face as he was taken away by Chan who looked over at me, and I understood that he wanted me to stay with Hyunjin. Chan was telling Jisung something in a small voice that I couldn’t hear, but I assumed that he was consoling him in a way. These kind of gestures make me like Chan even more, every second a little bit more.

I turned back to Hyunjin, and he smiled shyly at me. So, I gave him a thumbs-up while I stood behind The Director and all the assistants and staff that seemed never to go away.

The Director handed a fresh script to Hyunjin and sat down in his chair.

“Would you please read the part of Tommy Tom? First page.”

Hyunjin took the pages in his hands and looked at me again. I gave him a big smile, nodded in approval, and out of the corner of my eye saw that Chan and Jisung had returned.

“I made him promise he would behave,” Chan whispered in my ear and my heart raced at his closeness.

“He’s so going to make a fool out of himself,” Jisung said to us in a low, bitter voice, returning me to the actual scene. “But let him try, and then I’ll get my chance.”

Chan just winked at me as Hyunjin stood up straight and started to read.

“Scene 1. Tommy Tom appears in the backyard of a school.”

I had to smile as Hyunjin read the guides in the script instead of the lines. He was just so adorable. Jisung started to snicker, but I saw that The Director was also smiling, a thing he hadn’t done since he arrived at the movie set.

“Tommy Tom: Hey, you! Why are you taking that kid’s lunch?” Hyunjin read.

The Director looked back at all his staff and grinned some more while Hyunjin kept busy trying not to mess up the script. His face went from red to pink and then back to red again.

After just a few minutes, The Director got up from his chair and walked toward the amateur actor. Hyunjin stopped and hunched his shoulders, looking at the floor.

“Did I mess up?” Hyunjin asked, giving the script back, shoulders down. The Director walked up to him and Hyunjin slowly took a step back, visibly scared of this man.

“That’s all I need to hear,” The Director said, putting his arm around him. “You’re it! You’re my Tommy Tom!”

All the movie staff started to clap while Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s jaws fell to the floor.

“Me?”

“Him?” Jisung asked, shocked, forgetting about the promise he had made to Chan. “But he... he’s... you’re making a mistake. I am Han Jisung, I am the one who is destined to play the lead in your movie. Ask The Guardian, he’ll tell you!”

“What Guardian?” The Director asked, taking Hyunjin by the arm. “This is Hyunjin Hwang, our new star.” He signaled to the sky, while Jisung shook his head in disbelief.

“But he read everything wrong.”

“No, he did not,” The Director said. “He was sincere and true, the qualities you need in an actor, believability! Just look at him, who’s not going to fall in love with that smile?”

Hyunjin let himself be paraded around the soundstage, everyone making way for them, smiles coming from all around. Chan and I stood behind taking it all in while Jisung walked just a step behind The Director and his new star.

“Hyunjin, you have that it factor, you know, that innate quality some people are simply born with.” The assistant then handed The Director a pair of dark sunglasses that he handed over to Hyunjin, who didn’t know what to do with them.

“Hyunjin, you will be huge! You and I will be huge together! I see sequels and merchandising. You’ll be the talk of the town!” The Director exclaimed, placing the sunglasses on Hyunjin and winking.

Jisung sulked over to where Chan and I were standing and just stood there, watching as Hyunjin was being introduced to everyone in the room, from the camera crew and the extras to the other actors.

“It looks like he’s going to be an actor, and a popular one,” I said, trying not to laugh at Jisung ’s expression as a group of girls in the crowd started yelling like crazy, asking for autographs when Hyunjin approached them.

After going around the lot, Hyunjin and The Director went into his trailer to talk.

“The adventures of Tommy Tom? I mean, what kind of movie is that going to be?” Jisung asked, annoyed. “The more I think of it, the more I believe I dodged a bullet there.”

I wanted to tell him that he had been dying to be the star in that movie just a moment ago, but knew that all this anger came from his own frustration. This place had thrown so many curveballs at Jisung, first the shrink with Changbin, then going to the stand in Felix’s trial, and now getting his hopes up. I wished he would take a moment to take the lessons in, but maybe it wasn’t his time yet.

Chan wasn’t the type to respond to those kinds of remarks, so we just stood there, in the middle of madness. We didn’t have to wait long until Hyunjin left The Director’s trailer. He was looking around for something, so we approached him. Jisung, glum-faced and arms crossed, walked slowly behind.

“Can you believe this?” Jisung asked, looking all around, “Orlando really thinks I can be good at this! The film is a romantic comedy and the lead actress is really cute.”

He then waved at a beautiful blond girl, who waved back and blew him a kiss.

“Orlando?” Chan asked.

“The Director,” Hyunjin answered as he started to tell us how they wanted to start shooting right away, but he had never been in front of a camera before. “They’re telling me that I need a manager and a publicist and that they think I have a promising career, but they haven’t even seen me do anything! This is so unreal.”

“That’s precisely what it is,” Jisung started. “You stole my chance at stardom! You did everything on purpose.”

Hyunjin turned to look directly at Jisung and took his time to answer him. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get the role you wanted. I really am. But for the first time someone believes in me, someone sees me, just me. What I’m not sorry about is the way things turned out. I really feel this is what I’m supposed to be.”

He stopped for a moment and stood a little straighter. “I think I can do this, and I’m going to be a positive role model.” Jisung’s stare softened at Hyunjin’s inspiring words and he let down his guard.

“So, we’re good?” Hyunjin asked, to which Jisung just patted him on the back, that being the best he could do. Chan was the one to give Hyunjin a great, big hug, since we knew what was coming.

The Director showed up next to us and took the young actor away. “Now, Hyunjin, you are ready to shine, to let everybody see the grand person inside of you.”

“Grand? Me?” Hyunjin asked.

Suddenly everything turned black and we couldn’t see anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also my end notes are always a mess??? like the ones from previous chapters always show up n stuff lol idk if my settings are wrong or something... anyways, i hope u enjoyed this chapter! it's one of my favorite ones bc of my baby hyunjin<3333


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to throw in jisung's pov bc he's so misunderstood

I felt a rush of anger swell up inside me. I knew Skinny was gone, along with the dream that should have been mine. The lights came back and there we were, the last three. I wished I could just disappear. I went directly to my chair, the one on the far left, next to goody-goody Minho and pretty-boy Chan.

The two lovebirds were quite happy with themselves. After all, they had been friends with Skinny since the beginning. Seeing them there, staring lovingly at each other, just made me want to barf. Everyone had gotten exactly what they wanted, except for me. I felt Minho’s eyes on me but I didn’t want to see his sweet, stupid face. So I just looked at the floor. This last dream had been the worst yet.

The room went dim, and neon lights appeared everywhere. Here we go, The Guardian would be appearing any moment in one of his ridiculous outfits. Seventies music played, go-go dancers appeared inside cages, and a disco ball reflected bright lights in every direction. I was so not in the mood. In the center of it all was The Guardian in a silver jumpsuit with bell-bottoms, big sunglasses, and huge hair. He looked so foolish I could die.

To top it all off, a great sign with Skinny’s grinning face rose up in the background, promoting that sore excuse for a movie he had made. Great, rub it in my face. He had a new haircut and expensive clothes, but his grin was the same loser smile. Seeing the image made me want to burst inside. I just wanted to rip it down and stomp on it, hard.

“Stop!” I shouted, and everything went silent. The go-go dancers faded out of the picture, the cages disappeared, and the disco ball dissolved.

The Guardian stood with his finger in the air. He looked intently at me but didn’t say a word. I walked straight towards him, my fists clenched. I really wanted to punch him, especially when the only thing still in the background was Skinny’s dopey face.

“Why?!” I demanded. “Why did he get to be the big star and I get stuck here with these two duds?”

The Guardian put down his finger and took off his glasses.

“Why do you deserve something better than Hyunjin? Because you’re, what? Have frizzier hair? What makes you better than everyone else in this room?”

I opened my mouth to say something but then began to laugh hysterically. It started as a fake laugh, but then I simply couldn’t stop. I didn’t even know why. The Guardian walked towards me, stone-faced.

“Did I say something funny?” he asked, but I just kept laughing, which then turned into bawls and finally to screams until I was so spent I simply kept quiet and looked The Guardian in the eyes.

“I just want to get out of here,” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry,” The Guardian answered, “it is not your time yet.”

I kept staring at him in disbelief and let out a groan. I hated every second I had to stand here and be humiliated over and over.

He didn’t say another word, so I turned my back and walked away. I felt Minho behind me, but I couldn’t stand looking at his sad, puppy eyes. He was beautiful, yes, but it was clear to me that his heart was set somewhere else.

So I shook him off with my hands and kept on walking. He called, but I didn’t look back.

The last words I heard made me even more mad.

“What happened to Hyunjin?” Chan asked. “Is this movie poster for real?”

I covered my ears before I could hear the answer.

I started pacing in the back of the room, trying to figure out a way to sabotage my dream. Maybe I could wake myself up if I pinched really hard, but I hated pain. There had to be another way, maybe if I concentrated really hard. I tried to calm down, but I had had enough. First it was that snotty Changbin, who thought he was so much better than everyone else, then the stupid shrink asking me if I had been bullied at school and exposing me in front of everyone, then there was that awful trial, and the worst was being beaten by Skinny.

I was still fuming when I saw something move on the floor. I thought I had imagined it, but no, there was a trapdoor. Suddenly, a construction worker appeared in the hatch in front of me.

“What the—?” I started to say, but the construction worker put his finger to his lips.

So, I immediately kept quiet and crouched down to the floor.

“You’re not supposed to see me,” he said in a whisper, “I could get fired, so please, don’t tell anybody you saw me.”

I looked over at the others and they were still giving their back to us, so I realized this was my chance.

“Fine, I won’t say anything,” I answered in a whisper, “but you have to tell me how I can get out of here.”

“What? But you have to wait for your—”

“I don’t want to wait for my dream, I have waited long enough! Tell me now or I’ll scream and you’ll lose your job.”

“Ok, ok,” the construction worker said restlessly. “In about 10 minutes I’ll make a door appear, but it’s going to be high up and you’ll have five minutes to reach it. Only one person can cross, so don’t tell your friends what you’re doing.”

“How will I not tell—”

“Improvise. You seem like you’re good at that. Now, I have to go before The Guardian notices me, be careful and good luck.”

The trapdoor closed and faded into the floor. I smiled to myself, but then arranged my face into a frown again and walked to the middle of the room where The Guardian looked like he was about to leave.

“Then there were three,” he said as I joined them. “I hope you keep having a great time.”

“Great time?” I answered standing next to Minho and Chan. “This has been anything but a great time.”

The Guardian looked like he was about to exit, but then changed his mind. He paused for a moment and said, “You know, I think it’s time we gave each of you a break.”

 _A break?_ I thought, hoping it wouldn’t be another annoying activity.

“I think you deserve to have one desire fulfilled, something you hoped you had in this place, something you feel you really need.”

Hmm, interesting, what do I need?

Minho was the first to speak. “I’m really tired, I would like to rest. Is that possible?”

“Sure,” The Guardian answered, and a big canopy bed with crisp white linens came to be in front of him. A pair of white satin pajamas and robe were sitting on top of the comforter.

A bedside table with a baroque-style lamp that gave a dim light stood to the right. A satin eye mask completed the nighttime accessories. Minho smiled as he touched the fresh sheets, but added, “Is there a way I can have some privacy?” The moment he finished his sentence a pair of white velvet curtains covered the whole bed like a sanctuary. Minho looked satisfied as he walked to his new resting place, opened the curtains, and sat on top of the fluffy linens that seemed to engulf him.

“Who’s next?” The Guardian asked. I waved my hand to Chan, signaling him to go ahead.

I first needed to see what he would ask for to make my own petition.

“Um, I would love to have a moment of peace reading a book.”

“Done,” The Guardian said as a brown, leather recliner appeared in front of him next to a small table and a reading lamp. A history book about something that looked really boring sat on top of the table: an old, rugged edition, worn and used. Chan walked over to the table, took the copy of the book and smelled it.

“Ah, smells like home.” He sat down, reclined the back and looked completely at ease. Why anyone would want to read such dull things was beyond me, but then again, it was perfect to have him distracted.

“So, Jisung, you’re the only one left, what would your wish be?”

All this time I had been thinking what would be the best option to help achieve my goal of escaping, so I was quite sure what I wanted. “I would like music, a big, loud stereo with my favorite music.”

“Really?” The Guardian asked, looking over at Minho and Chan who very clearly didn’t like the idea of me making a racket. They must have even thought I was doing this on purpose to piss them off, but by now I really didn’t care.

“Yes, I am,” I answered. The Guardian nodded his head, and a big spin table appeared with retro vinyl records and very big speakers. Also, just as my companions were about to object, a pair of noise-canceling headphones appeared next to Chan’s table with a set of classical music CDs. A box of ear- plugs arrived beside Minho and his bed. I approached the spin table and smiled to myself, this was just the thing to make enough noise for the others not to notice what I was about to do.

“So, everyone’s good?” The Guardian asked, just as his platform shoes were about to exit the room again. Chan and Minho said yes and thanked him, while I ignored him.

I started to get anxious because the construction guy had said ten minutes, and

I saw Chan get up from his chair and go sit down next to Minho. So, I went up to them to make them uncomfortable.

“Are you good?” Chan asked Minho. He looked back at him with sleepy eyes. I had to get him back to his chair with his earphones on pronto.

“Really? Wow! Can I sit too?” I asked and sat down between them before getting an answer.

I could feel Chan’s irritation on behalf of my intrusion, exactly what I was hoping for.

Chan turned to Minho who looked back at him longingly. It was annoying to watch.

“You should rest now,” Chan said, tucking him in. “Come on Jisung, let’s leave him be.”

He ushered me down from the bed and I felt victory. Sorry, Chan, no cute moment for you and Minho, this is my time to go.

Chan closed the velvet curtains that covered the bed and walked to his seat. Meanwhile, I started playing some Elvis records extremely loud on my precious turntable. It was really cool, and I made a mental note to get one for myself back home. It had a retro eighties style, with its own speakers and a rustic touch. I was enjoying myself, maybe for the first time since I’d been in this place, but I hadn’t forgotten my objective.

I guessed Minho had put in his earplugs since he hadn’t made a sound from inside his canopy bed, but Chan started to read while he listened to my music. So, I changed from Elvis to metal rock, hoping he wouldn’t be into that too, and indeed he didn’t like it. He started to look back at me when the volume became unbearable, but I ignored him. He eventually took his headphones and descended into the classical world and that book that looked like a very heavy Bible.

Now that Minho and Chan were out of earshot, I started to look for the famous hanging door. I wasn’t wearing a watch, but it had been roughly 10 minutes since I had that strange and advantageous encounter. I left eighties metallic rock playing very loudly while I watched Chan carefully. He was so engulfed in his book that he never looked back at me.

I walked around looking at the ceiling, or lack thereof, not knowing exactly what I was searching for. Then I saw it, a big red door, floating in the air in the middle of the room.

It was high up so I couldn’t reach it, even if I jumped.

“Great,” I thought, “there’s my way out, and I can’t even get to it.”

I remembered that the construction worker said it would only appear for a few minutes, so I started to get concerned, walking around, and even jumping to see if I could reach. I also kept looking over at Chan, who was absorbed in his reading, but could turn around any moment. I cursed under my breath at the thick construction worker. Why didn’t he put the damn door three feet lower?

Worried and restless, I sat down for a moment and suddenly realized that I was literally sitting on the answer. I quickly got up, moved my chair as quietly as I could under the door in the air and stood on it. But even then I came up short. I knew I had to jump, but then would not be able to turn the doorknob. Adding to the pressure, a clock appeared on top of the door counting down from 60. I looked over and saw that Minho’s chair was smaller than mine.

I got down, looked over at Chan, and was relieved to see that he had fallen asleep. The clock was ticking at 45 seconds. I ran, took Minho’s chair, put in on top of mine and was now at the exact height where I wanted to be.

But I had miscalculated and placed the chairs slightly away from the door, so again I had to leap. Ten, nine, eight, eight and a half... I had no time to think it through, so I took a deep breath and jumped.

Thump.

When I opened my eyes I was lying down, but not on the floor. The lights were incandescent, the space small. I couldn’t move my feet, or my hands, or anything in my body for that matter. My head hurt so much, it was hard for me to concentrate. What had happened to me?

“He opened his eyes,” I heard a familiar voice say, Minho. He sounded hopeful, as if it were something special that I had come to.

Oh, the pain, I couldn’t even think straight. I was so sleepy, I closed my eyes again.

“There, he did it again,” this time it was Chan. Hadn’t they been asleep the last time I saw them? Where were we?

A doctor came into view, shining a light into my eyes. Still all I could do was look straight up, my body not responding at all.

I couldn’t feel a thing, but I realized I was in a hospital bed, monitors chiming all around me. How much time had passed since I had jumped for the damn door?

“I’m sorry to inform you that your friend is in a vegetative state. His eyes will open, but he will never regain full brain function,” The Doctor told Minho and Chan. He kept saying more, but all I could hear was blah, blah, blah.

From my partial vision I could see Minho tearing up. Never regain full brain function? I wanted to get out of my body and tell them I could understand every word they were saying but all I could do was blink.

“What will happen to him?” Chan asked, while he hugged Minho whose tears were now flowing down his face. Is this what had to happen for him to finally touch him? I was so mad at them, and most of all I was mad at myself.

“We have to disconnect him from the machines. His breathing will stop eventually,” The Doctor said. I took in the words, but their meaning was too hard to swallow. I’m going to die here.

The Doctor kept telling them the specifics of my condition, and Chan said he would not allow them to disconnect anything. I thanked him internally for that. My eyes just blinked, and all their words started to sound like static. From my partial view I could see Chan making his case with The Doctor. Minho was shaking, trying to control himself. He looked so beautiful even through his tears.

I couldn’t concentrate so I closed my eyes for a second. I let go, and wasn’t mad anymore. I felt all my anger dissolve and give way to regret. Is this what it feels like to be no more? Had I wasted everything and alienated everyone around me? I already knew the answer. I wished I could be the one to console Minho, that I could thank Chan, that I could go back and start over.

“Jisung, you’re gonna make it, you understand?” I opened my eyes to see Chan hovering over me.

 _Yes, Chan, I will,_ but all I could do was blink. I wanted to get up and run and jump. I wanted to tell Minho to be all that he could be, that he and Chan were meant to be together.

I had seen it from the start. I remembered my parents and felt heavy in my heart.

I could see Minho holding my hand when The Doctor told them it was time to say goodbye.

“He’s still opening his eyes!” Chan shouted, getting more upset.

“No, please,” Minho implored, “just another minute. He’ll come back, I know him. He’s a fighter. He’ll come back.” Minho was standing between The Doctor and me, as if he could protect me.

Security officers appeared and took Chan by the arms. He was struggling to get free, shouting that this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be. Minho put his arms around my body, but they took him away as well. He was still screaming his heart out. I never knew he cared, not this much.

The monitors stopped chiming. So this is how it goes. This is the way to waste a life.

What would I give for another chance? It didn’t matter; I couldn’t ask for one. I closed my eyes and wished for tears that I couldn’t even cry.

I started to see the faces of all the important people around me: my family, my friends. I felt myself fly to the places I had come to love, and couldn’t believe I would never see any of them again. Would anyone miss me when I’m gone?

I kept waiting for my heart to stop, hoping it wouldn’t hurt so much. But, instead, I started to feel my hands, and I thought I saw movement in my toes. I was able to move my head and touch my face. I could feel my whole body again.

I sat up and looked at Minho and Chan, who looked back at me in amazement, still being held by security.

“What? Jisung?” Minho screamed, running up to the bed the moment the guard let go of him.

“Are you okay?” Chan asked, joining us, “we thought...” but he couldn’t even finish the sentence, he just hugged me and I hugged him back. I took in Minho and hugged him as well.

“Thank you,” was all I could say. The sound of my voice was as astonishing to me as being able to move, and maybe jump, and maybe run. Minho kept hugging me, and I patted his back. I shook Chan’s hand. They were my friends, true friends.

I couldn’t understand what had happened, but I knew why. I had such joy in my heart, I couldn’t even express it. This was the best moment I had ever experienced.

“Jisung, are you ready to live?” The Doctor asked, helping me get up from the bed. I felt the touch of the ground, the taste of freedom, the greatness of being awake.

“Live? Yes.” I answered, turning one last time to Minho and Chan. I smiled. I knew I would never see them again.

Suddenly everything went dark and we couldn’t see anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might've shed a few tears while writing this :'((( 
> 
> anyways, this story is ending soon... if u feel like mentally preparing urself


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this chapter is kinda short but i swear it's cute lol

One, two, three, four... I was still sobbing by the time the lights went out ... Five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half... I felt so drained. I had really thought they were going to let Jisung die. I was so glad he was fine, and so sad he was gone.

The lights came back, and all I could do was throw myself into Chan’s arms. He hugged me really tight and I started, slowly, to feel like myself again. He touched my hair and whispered softly that it was all right, that Jisung should be the happiest he had ever been now.

I let go of his embrace and looked up at him. I really hoped I didn’t look as miserable as I felt.

“Ahem,” came from another voice and I was surprised to see The Guardian there, standing next to us. No grand entrance, no eccentric attire, just a man in a suit. If this had been a normal day in a normal place I wouldn’t have looked at him twice, maybe not even once. For the first time he seemed kind of human. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn I saw a tear in the corner of his eye.

“What happened?” I asked, for the first time angry at him and at this place. “You just put us through hell. What happened to Jisung, you made us believe—”

“I’m sorry,” The Guardian said sincerely. “I’m sorry you had to experience the pain, but it was necessary.”

“Necessary?” Chan asked. “It was harsh and cruel.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” The Guardian said, and I wanted to slap him. The memory of Jisung in that hospital bed, his eyes still blinking, the monitor going off, made my heart want to implode. If it had been so painful for me, I was afraid to think what must have been going through his head.

“It wasn’t bad, it was repulsive,” I said, my voice breaking again. I took a breath to try to get a hold of myself. “You shouldn’t have put us through that, not when...” The Guardian looked straight at me, waiting for me to finish my sentence. But I didn’t give him the satisfaction. I knew he knew what I meant. We all went silent for a moment.

“Sometimes we need to see the darkness to appreciate the light,” The Guardian said, and I was left with nothing to say.

“Did he understand everything that was happening?” Chan asked, trying to hide the fact that he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I was still very upset.

“Yes.”

“How? Did you sedate him somehow?” I asked annoyed, but got no response. The Guardian just kept looking at nothing in the distance.

“All you need to know is that he is gone,” The Guardian said mysteriously, “gone like a whisper.”

“Can you at least tell us how he is now? Is he happy? Did this help him somehow?” Chan asked, tenderly squeezing my hand. He was still afraid to touch me, I could tell, for he let go quickly.

“He had a very important mission. He stopped a close friend from taking his own life.”

“Wow.” I let out a long sigh and lowered my head. Then it was all worth it.

There was silence again and slowly I felt my rage start to dissipate. I hoped Chan hadn’t caught on to the nature of my outburst. I shouldn’t have snapped.

My thoughts went out to Jisung. I missed his spinning chair, and even his rude and impolite self. I missed Hyunjin too. I felt a big hole being carved into my spirit. I’d tried so hard not to get attached to anyone, but these friendships had caught me completely off guard. I turned to Chan, knowing that I would miss him most of all.

“It scares me to think what’s in store for us,” Chan said to The Guardian, bringing me back from my stupor, and I felt myself turn pink all the way to my ears at him using the word “us.” I tried to hide my blushing by facing the other way, but he totally noticed me getting flustered. So, he quickly added, “for each of us, I mean, since we’re the last two here.”

“You will not have to wait long,” The Guardian said, and with that and a wave of his hand he was gone.

So, we were now alone. Two lonely chairs in the middle of The Great White Room. All this time I had been hoping for this, but now I felt so nervous that I wished for Jisung’s head to appear from somewhere to take the attention away from me. I sat down, and so did Chan.

“So,” I said clearing my throat, “I wonder whose dream will be next.”

He turned to look at me, and all I could do was think that he had the most beautiful eyes, the most gorgeous lips, and the most handsome face that I had ever seen.

“I don’t care, really,” he said, taking me in with that deep stare of his. “I just want to spend this time we have left getting to know you, Minho.”

The way he said my name sent electricity down my spine and I couldn’t even blink. His eyes were the only thing in the room. I felt so little and insignificant, and yet he wanted me, just me. He took his chair, and put it in front of me, so close his knees brushed with mine.

“Do I make you uncomfortable?” he asked, and I still found it hard to keep my gaze on those eyes that searched for everything inside my lost and crumbled soul. I knew he wasn’t going to touch me again unless I did it first.

My hands lusted for his touch. I had to stop being afraid.

_Let go, Minho, let go._

“No, you make me feel like me,” I answered, feeling free of everything that had been binding me.

I wanted to know everything about him. What was his mother like? Did he like music or sports? How did he do in school?

Instead I did something that was even harder for me.

I stretched out my hand and I took his. He pulled my chair closer to his and just held me in his arms. Complete and perfect comfortable silence.

The whole scenery changed and we were in a brisk autumn afternoon. Our chairs converted into a bench so I cuddled next to him for warmth. The leaves on the ground were yellow and red, the light a beautiful golden tone. We started to imagine where we were and why. I said I adored the fall, he said he loved the outdoors. We talked about everything and nothing, each story more interesting than the last. I felt like we were an old couple watching the day go by.

He made me stand up and hummed as he held me in his arms. He made me dance with him, and I let him lead. His arms held me so close, I did not object. I put my head to his chest and could hear the steady sound of his heartbeat.

He stopped for a moment and looked me straight in the eyes. I couldn’t believe this was real, _was this real?_

“ The first time the lights went out,” Chan said, his face so close to me I could see endless darkness inside his eyes, “I searched for your hand. I wanted to keep you close and protected.”

I wanted to say it had only taken me eight and a half seconds to know I had fallen for him, but that I kept to myself.

“I have never seen eyes like yours before,” I said instead, still enraptured by his stare, and his smile, and his closeness, “that can read me, and find me, and call to me.”

“This has been the best date I’ve ever been on,” he said.

By then the sun was going down and it was getting darker. We knew time was up.

“Do you think this is our dream?” I asked, “You know, meeting here?”

“But we’ve met before.” He answered, and the way he said it seemed so true that I doubted it for a moment, _had we?_ “You’ve always been in my dreams,” he added, thawing the last speck of coldness I had guarded inside.

I kept looking at him, my heart beating faster with his proximity, his hand brushing my hair, the air chilly, forcing me to press my chest to his.

“Did you know that the part of your dreams that you mostly remember is generally the end?” Chan whispered, taking my face in his hands.

“So maybe we are about to wake up?” I implied, knowing it wasn’t true.

“Maybe,” he said, coming closer to me, and I closed my eyes as I felt his lips press against mine. The light was almost gone, the air around us blew the leaves from the ground as I melted into this perfect moment.

I lost myself completely. I took in his smell, my thoughts gone as I became pure emotion.

We kissed as if it were the last thing in the world we could do. I hugged him so tight I forgot to breathe. I felt the darkness surround us as I let him completely take over my heart, my mind, my soul. I felt nothing but our hearts beating as one as we kissed, and kissed, and kissed.

And for the first time I did not count the seconds.

Suddenly everything went dark and we couldn’t see anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sending all the uwu's <3333
> 
> anyways there are only 2 chapters left :((( just so you know lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i'm sorry for abandoning this story for the 23rd time lmao oops bUT i might just throw the biggest plottwist ever ur way so i hope you enjoy this chapter! :) only one more left after this tho :(((

We held tight to each other hoping there was a chance that this wasn’t the end. I could feel his arms around me, so I knew we were both still here. But, where was here? I had forgotten to count, so I didn’t know how long we had before everything changed.

When the lights came up we were still together, but not back in The Great White Room. It took me no time to know exactly where I was.

“What happened?” Chan asked.

I couldn’t answer him. I just let go and took in the beautiful sight before me. We were in front of a handsome white house, with big draped windows. There was an orange grove in the background and a wide pond in the center of the property with gorgeous water lilies. You couldn’t see them, but there were toads all around that sang all night long. Rose bushes were planted along the pathway that led down to a spectacular garden where there was a little less charming fort built in the corner.

Chan was taking everything in while I walked the familiar path.

I felt a mishmash of elation and sadness.

Everything was exactly where it should be, but the lighting made it seem as if we were living inside an old discolored photograph. I was so glad to see it again: every tree, every rose, every pebble felt so comforting and at the same time heartbreaking. I knew I was only here for a moment and could never really go back.

“It’s so beautiful here,” I said more to myself than to Chan who was walking behind me, as always giving me my space. I turned to him, feeling tears well up in my eyes. “Isn’t it?”

“Yes it is,” he said.

I looked away, not wanting him to see me so vulnerable. He felt me hesitate, so he put his hands on my shoulders, letting me know I could take my time. The picture was clear to me: I could recover something very dear, but would lose another that had revealed a light inside me that had long since dimmed.

“Come with me,” I said. “This is the house I grew up in.”

I took him by the hand and we entered very quietly. There seemed to be nobody around. “I miss this place so much it hurts,” I said as we continued walking. “I left my childhood inside these rooms.”

He did not comment, he just squeezed my hand.

I had been here many times before in my dreams, just like this I guess, except previously the pictures faded and the details were wrong. This was returning to a place and time that had long gone. Impossible, but so, so wonderful.

We passed through the kitchen, that smelled of apple pie, then through the family room with the old television set, on to the hallway where the big chimney would warm us in winter and finally to the corridor leading up to the rooms. I was about to take a step, but thought better of it. Instead I led Chan outside to the small fort. There it was, my Spiderman action figure. I held it in my hands and recalled the smell of the plastic, the feeling of the figure’s curves. I looked up at Chan and stared into his eyes painfully.

“Chan, I think I’m about to leave.”

“I... I don’t understand,” he said. Of course he didn’t, because this wasn’t just any day, this was _the_ day. The one moment I needed, the one instant I had always desired to go back to.

“I have to do something I should have done a long time ago. Do you remember when we were telling those stories about the things that happened in our past? Well, I lied when I said nothing had happened to me, because it did. This is the day of my tenth birthday and in a moment you will see a frightened little boy come running to hide inside this fort.”

Just as I said that, the image of a boy appeared in front of us. A male voice was calling his name, but he didn’t answer.

He just took his action figure and covered his ears, humming a song to himself.

“Minho, please come. Please,” said the voice belonging to my father.

I turned to Chan and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll come back to say good-bye to you, I promise. This I have to do alone.”

He did not say a word, which I thanked him for in my heart. I didn’t know if I could have been able to stand him asking me to stay. I was torn for a moment between letting go of the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me and confronting the thing that could make me whole again.

I walked back to the house slowly. I took off my shoes, as I always did, to feel the touch of fresh grass against my feet. The wind blew my hair, and the sun’s rays that came through the tree branches caressed my cheeks, reminding me how good it feels to be alive. I left my shoes at the door and stepped inside the house, my heart in my throat. I walked across the living room, past the chimney room with the billiard table and up the small steps that led to their bedroom. Then I saw him, standing in the door frame.

“Minho, please come in, she has been asking for you.”

My father looked so young and so sad. I knew that pain in his eyes would linger for a long time. I hugged him so hard, as hard as I ever had. I knew the hurt he was going through and the heartache he would endure for years to come. I took a deep breath and walked in.

There she was, the woman whom I had loved most in my life; my mother. Though she could hardly breathe because of her cystic fibrosis, she forced a smile. She asked the nurse to leave us for a moment and signaled me to come close. I felt like a little boy again. I knelt beside her and let my head fall on her lap while she stroked my hair.

“Minho,” she said in a small voice, “you have to be strong now.”

“Please don’t go, you don’t know what life is without you... I can’t, Dad can’t.”

“We cannot change what already is, darling, but life will go on.”

A coughing fit took over her and the nurse quickly approached. But my mother signaled to her that she was fine.

“Mom, I’m sorry,” I said, my lips quivering.

She looked so frail.

“Sorry for what, dear?”

“For not coming to say goodbye to you. I couldn’t face the fact that I would never see you again. I thought I could be strong, that I could take care of Dad for you, that I could be everything that you made me to be.”

“What are you talking about? You’re here now,” she coughed again, “and just seeing your face makes me so happy, the happiest I’ve ever been. Stay with me.”

My mother closed her eyes, her breathing sharper.

I cuddled up in bed next to her while my father sat on her other side, taking her hand.

This was the last time we would be together. I wanted to memorize this moment, to make it last forever. I watched her fade away, grateful to be able to do so. I held her hand as she took her last breath and let go.

The image started to evanesce, the figure of my father the first to go. I knew I had little time, so I got up, kissed my mother’s forehead, told her I would never forget her, and walked out of the room. Everything began to evaporate as I walked through the house, tears flowing from my eyes, coming from the deepest corners of my soul. The pictures on the wall were blurry and the steps deteriorated, but I didn’t need to see to walk through my memories, these were all my own. I patted our old dog, asleep on his bed, and I touched the railing of the stairs, taking in the last breath from my past.

I looked ahead and said my farewells. For the first time I knew that I could walk forward without anything holding me back.

I put my shoes back on and hurried to catch Chan. Everything was dissolving and I started to run as fast as I could. I had to see him one last time.

When I reached him, he was waiting patiently in the garden, which was still intact.

“Did you live your dream?” he asked me, drying off a tear left on my face.

“Yes, and it was the best dream a person could ever have,” I answered taking his hands between mine. I wasn’t afraid to love him anymore.

“Was it worth it?”

“Oh, yes, you will see.”

He looked at me with his inquisitive stare, and I could swear that I had been in this exact place before, looking into those eyes, in this precise spot. Déjà vu.

“You don’t remember, do you?” he asked with a small smile, this smile I had seen before.

I got goose bumps as I looked around my memory and started to recall.

“I knew it the minute I saw you, but I had to give you time,” he said, and I took a step back to take everything in.

I had blocked out this day from my consciousness, but he had been there in the back of my mind, always.

Chan led me back to the small fort where I had seen my childhood self. There he was, staring from afar, the little boy who had comforted me. I watched as the young Chan shyly approached the fort with a pink rose in his hand, one he had just cut from my mother’s beloved garden.

How could I have forgotten? His hair was shorter and he was skinnier, but those eyes were hard to dismiss. I turned back to him and everything fell into place. This was why he kept staring at me, why he felt he needed to protect me. He had been there the very moment when I had needed someone the most.

“Are you all right?” young Chan asked young Minho. I, young Minho, had brushed away the tears, not wanting young Chan to see me cry.

“Who are you?” I had asked, averting his question.

“I’m the doctor’s son, today is my birthday, so he let me come along. They said it was an emergency.”

“Yes, it’s my mother,” I had said as my father’s cries grew louder in the background.

“Don’t you want to see her?” young Chan had wanted to know.

“I can’t,” I had answered, so young Chan crawled inside the fort and sat beside me.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” he had asked, and I had nodded.

He stayed with me while I cried softly until I fell asleep on his shoulder as the sun started to set. When the day ended he carried me to the big house where my father took me in, still asleep. Both our fathers were upset, mine filled with grief, Chan’s firm and angry.

“My father disappeared shortly after that,” Chan said. “It hurt him deeply losing your mother. She had been his patient for a long time.”

Everything started to decolorize and my heart pounded just thinking that the darkness was about to overcome us again. I saw fear in Chan’s face as well as we struggled with questions and words that we couldn’t express.

“Will I ever see you again?” I shouted as strong winds threatened to tear us apart.

“Have you found your peace?” he asked, taking my hands in his.

“Peace, yes,” I answered as I held his hands tighter. “But I’m not ready,” I added, hugging him as tightly as I could.

Suddenly everything went dark and we couldn’t see anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter leggo :(

One, two three, four... I could feel Chan’s heart beating against my chest... Five, six, seven, eight, eight and a half. The lights came back and I didn’t want to open my eyes to find myself back in my own room. I didn’t separate my body from his until I heard his voice say, “Hey.”

I looked around and couldn’t recognize where we were. I knew something was wrong.

“What have I done?” I asked, noticing he was as surprised as I was. No white room, no chairs, no nothing.

We were in a semi-dark limbo. Chan looked around but said nothing, we didn’t know what to expect.

“I have to tell you something, before this whole madness comes to an end,” I said, looking straight into his eyes. “The first time you took my hand I wanted you to, but I was afraid you would reject me when you knew.”

“Knew what?” he asked, compassion and love in his stare.

“Your father was my mother’s doctor, so you must know that cystic fibrosis is hereditary. And even though I’m not ill, I’m a carrier.” It was so hard just talking about this shadow that had followed me through life.

I’d seen the tragedy of a young death, and knowing that I could pass it along hurt me deeply. I lowered my eyes and my lips started to quiver, but Chan took my face in his hands and made me look at him.

“I already knew this,” he said, “and it doesn’t change anything.”

His words were few, but they were exactly what I need to hear, and I stood there is disbelief of this incredible person, who just smiled at me while he rubbed my cheek with his hand.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” The Guardian’s voice interrupted, bringing us back to our present reality. We looked around, but we couldn’t see him.

I felt scared and uncertain. I knew I had altered something by holding onto Chan.

“I can’t leave, not now, you don’t understand,” I shouted out into the nothingness, Chan’s touch the only reality I could hold on to.

“I understand more than you think,” responded the voice, coming at us from all sides.

“No, you don’t,” I said, all these feelings I so desperately tried to avoid swelling up in my chest. “I have kept shut for so long. I have feared any closeness, any contact. You can’t just take me away.” I felt completely vulnerable, an emotion I most despised.

Chan and I looked at each other, my entire being in his hands.

“I know I came here to find him,” Chan’s eyes locked to mine. “My dream is done.”

“Are you sure?” The Guardian persisted.

“How can you know you did not come here to be something bigger?”

Chan hesitated for a moment. “I can’t think of anything more important than this,” he said, melting my heart.

I was a whirlwind inside. I felt glued to his touch, but knew that this was his one opportunity, his one chance to know something about himself that could change him, to fit the puzzle of his soul.

“You have a choice,” The Guardian said, appearing in front of us as uninvited as ever.

He didn’t need to say the words; we both knew what he meant. A choice between me and the dream. It was a choice for me as well.

I could fight to stay with him or forget about my own feelings and let him become a better man. I knew I couldn’t let him go no matter what, could he?

I thought about telling him where to find me, but all I could see were images of my former life colliding without any result.

I had no words to describe my address, my hometown, or any identifying facts.

“Are you sure you just came here to find him? You could have reached him otherwise,” The Guardian said as if he were reading my mind.

“I tried, but I had no way of knowing where he was. The only person who could guide me isn’t around anymore.”

I felt the pain this caused him, and it amazed me to think that he had kept me in his thoughts after all this time.

“What if he hadn’t been here? Would you have acted differently?” The Guardian asked in a sharper tone. “You were important here.”

Chan thought about this for a moment.

“I did nothing special.”

“False humility is annoying, Chan.”

“I’m just as, or even more, flawed than my friends, and as incomplete as others,” he said, that last part directed at me. “I just like to analyze things, to learn as much as I can about the people around me.”

“Yes, you like to learn, Chan Dreamer.”

The name again, this time it didn’t sound like a mistake. He was doing it to throw Chan off guard.

“I’m Chan D. Reamur, my father just put that D there for some foolish reason.”

“Foolish? I don’t think so. Your father was a brilliant man.” The Guardian turned his back to us and I felt Chan’s renewed interest in the matter.

“My father…. did you know my father?”

“I did not say that. I just think that it’s very appropriate.”

The Guardian kept walking away, and I stood my ground as Chan followed this strange man who had all the answers, and only gave us riddles.

“What do you mean?” Chan asked him, desperation in his tone.

“Maybe I did know your father, but I guess you’ll never know,” he said.

Chan stopped short as he heard the last words spoken. His face changed. There it was, the missing piece. He turned to me, his brown eyes a deeper shade of sorrow.

“Channie, Channie Dreamer,” a voice said, but it wasn’t The Guardian. It sounded like an old recording. I could see Chan’s eyes tear up.

I knew who that voice belonged to.

“He abandoned us,” Chan shouted and all I could do was watch his pain. “He doesn’t deserve a minute of my time or a second of my thoughts. He broke my mother’s heart.”

 _And yours as well,_ I thought.

The Guardian looked straight at him. “Never forget that he loved you most of all.”

“Yes, he did, but that _‘d’_ at the end of love is as useless as the one in my name.”

I was a torn inside. Was his dream to see his father again, just as I did my mother? Had I spoiled this for him?

“Time’s running out, Chan,” The Guardian said, and I started to feel more afraid than I had ever felt in my life.

“I took something from everyone,” Chan said after a moment. “That was my dream.”

“Very well,” The Guardian said as he softly faded into the dark. “Maybe some other time.”

We were alone again. Did this mean we could be together? Would I wake up to find him? We looked at each other, silence standing in for all of the things I longed to say.

Five lights turned on around us. The first spotlight appeared on top of a figure, the image of a small boy. No, not a boy. It was Seungmin, still dressed in his short pants and peculiar clothes, but so complete.

“From Seungmin I borrowed strength,” Chan told me, looking his way.

Another light uncovered Changbin in a white suit, no black clothing, just a clean face with a bright smile, no material possessions to label or distinguish him.

“From Changbin, self-acceptance.”

Next to him stood Felix, his bangs pulled away from his forehead, his shoulders back, his head tall.

“Felix showed me how to stand up for truth.”

Hyunjin appeared looking handsome as ever, arms stretched out for the world to see.

“Hyunjin gave me the confidence to believe I can do anything I set out to do.”

The greatest transformation was Jisung. He wore a humbler, kinder face, my heart went out to him.

“Jisung reminded me of the importance of being grateful in life.”

We stood there watching our friends, knowing they were just images of their transformed selves.

“And you, I simply lived to find you.”

He turned to me and with his finger he drew my lips, his eyes intent on my eyes.

Every trace of his finger transmitted so much emotion I felt my knees buckle beneath me.

I kissed the tips of his fingers as he moved his face closer to mine, my breath short in anticipation, our stare becoming one, my eyes locked on his. As his lips touched mine, he lifted me up in his arms. Our time was running out. I couldn’t recall where I was or why, his lips and his breath and his arms the only thing in the world to me. He let me down again, his hands losing themselves in my hair, my pulse beating fast, as if I were about to suffocate. The minutes went by like water in my hands.

I felt a light shining over me, a force so strong that it took me away from Chan. Was this the light of day? _No, please don’t, don’t let the dream end._

Chan was trying to run toward me, but he couldn’t move. I was in the middle between asleep and awake, trying hard not to open my eyes.

“You have chosen me and I you,” I shouted.

“Don’t forget that.”

A voice started counting overhead. _“One, two, three...”_

I knew I had less than eight and a half seconds before everything would end.

“Minho...” he pleaded.

_“Four, five, six...”_

“I love you, Chan,” was all I could say between whimpers as I felt the light wash everything else away.

He stood looking at me, his brown eyes calling. I wished he could reach me and take me back, but I knew it wasn’t meant to be.

The dream was taking its own turn and we couldn’t control the outcome... _Seven, eight, eight and a half._

“I will find you,” were the last words I heard.

Then everything went black and I couldn’t see anymore.

**_The End._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end! tysm for reading my first ever story. the plot was so weird & all over the place but aye. i appreciated y'alls comments so much & i hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> love you! xo

**Author's Note:**

> so award for weirdest plot goes to: me
> 
> idk let me know if you like it fam, hopefully i won't abandon it.
> 
> also sorry, but poor innie sadly didn't make it :((


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